Apologies | Sinrin [HIATUS]

Apologies: Chapter 6

Yerin's POV

I actually don't know how to face her again. I don't have a face to display. I just wish that someone would wake me up and tell that it was all just a dream. A freaking bad dream.

Unfortunately, it seems that this is all the reality. The world of reality. The world that I once tried to leave, but failed.

It was as if I wanted to die because of a reason that I don't even know of. As if the reason that I am living is already gone and so there is no reason to live anymore. But that's still uncertain, well somehow.

Not to mention the girl and the scenes on my mind.

She is...

She's so beautiful, enigmatically beautiful.

Speaking of which, I have stopped getting those impractical scenes since the day of the accident, the day that I first saw her... closely, the day that I first thought that I know her, the day that I first heard her voice and the day that I first felt the urge to live again.

Maybe because I want to see her again. Maybe because I want to know why I felt all of those feelings at the first place. Maybe... maybe I am hoping that she could help me break the curse that I have been carrying all this time.

But in my dismay, our second meeting turned out like this. I might be embarrassed as hell right now, but I am somewhat grateful that I saw her again and what's more is that we will be working together which means that I got to see her everyday.

"Zoning out?" a voice interrupted me.

And yeah it's her, Dr. Hwang.

I stayed silent not responding on her smart guess. My breathing became unsteady the time she went to sit beside me.

She chuckled, "Why do you look so nervous?" once she's sitted she put her hands inside the pocket of her lab coat as if it was already a habit of hers "I won't kill you don't worry. I ain't a murderer." she said in a half-joke-half-true tone as if she's just talking to me casually.

I know that I have said earlier that I cannot face her again. But I guess it can't be help. I just love hearing how beautiful her voice sounds to my ears.

"I am sorry for earlier," I apologized maintaining a low voice. "I just- you know, can sometimes be a fool and impulsive."

"Yeah I know that very well."

Her response made me lower my head more and more to the point that it could actually reach the floor.

We stayed silent for a good moment until a nurse accompanying a patient in a wheelchair passed us, bowed her head a little and smiled at Doctor Hwang, in which she responded with a smile as well.

I just noticed that the patient looked so pale that his skin is literally turning white. And it reminded me of that day, that day when I wanted to end my life.

I tried to drink tons of sleeping pills hoping that it would let me sleep forever. After Taehyung saved me, he brought me to the hospital but I've been unconscious for a few days there, the doctor said that there are still particles of the pill inside my body that's why... And once I have finally regained my consciousness I am just looking pale, just like him.

And memories of that night just vividly flashed in my head again. How I felt the pill taking effect on my body, how I felt my vision being invaded by darkness, how I felt my body plunged into the cold floor, how I felt the ringing of the voices in my ears worriedly calling my name. Until...

Until I cannot feel anymore.

"Are you thinking about that again?" asked her.

I once thought that she caught me staring at that patient for quite a while now recalling those wicked memories of mine.