dysphoria - joshler

8

the weather was great
tyler was with me
i was wearing my favourite clothes
brendon was about to meet us
nothing could go wrong
or so i thought.

we stepped off of my small porch and walked down the street

"pick a number between one and six" tyler spoke

"uh, four" i looked at him confused

he started playing a song and singing

i have no clue how he could sing a song, play an instrument and be in time with his voice while walking and knowing where hes going

i walked with him enjoying the few moments of him singing, i never understood why his voice calms me down so much

we got to the end of the street and saw brendon waving at us like a child that just got a new toy

"so you decided to come?" he asked me

"no i just came for the walk" i spoke sarcastically

he looked at tyler

"yes brendon, he's being sarcastic. he is coming with us" tyler shook his head

brendon started lauging to himself

"so how come you're coming to the open event if you're already going to college?" i asked him

"because i told tyler i'd go with him to show him around and now im here to show you both around" he smiled at me

he's the human equivalent of a puppy, he's excited all the time about anything and everything but he has no clue what's going on half the time

i looked at tyler and realised what brendon just said

"well fuck" i accidentally said out loud

tyler looked at me understanding what i meant

"what?" brendon spoke with his eyebrows crossed in confusion

tyler quickly pulled out his phone

ill tell him if you want, he understands

i looked at him and nodded

"brendon, i need to tell you something" tyler spoke looking back at me

"sure, anything" he responded

"so, josh is trans. he didn't want to tell you because he didn't know how you would react but i told him you're fine with all that stuff" tyler looked at me as if he was asking if that little speech he gave was okay

so i nodded in response while wiping the sweat off of my palms on to my black jeans

"dude thats sick, i had no idea" he smiled widely

"so he needs your help when shit goes down because i'll have no clue because ive never been" tyler added

"yeah man of course, anything you need" he told me whilst messing around with his hair

"thank you" i spoke

after a few more minutes of walking and tyler singing away my anxieties we got to the gates of hell