dysphoria - joshler

3

i opened my eyes jumping a little when i saw my surroundings

i forgot where i was

then i heard someone singing

i'm a goner

somebody catch my breath

i'm a goner

somebody catch my breath

i wanna be known by you

i wanna be known by you

though i'm weak and beaten down

ill slip away into this sound

the ghost of you is close to me

i'm inside out

you're underneath

i turned around to see tyler stood facing the window

"you're really good at singing" i spoke

"and you're really good at scaring people" he laughed

"what song was that?" i asked

he paused for a moment

"i wrote it myself" he said scratching he back of his neck

"it's really good" i smiled

"thank you" he laughed nervously

"do you play any instruments?" i asked

"i play the piano and ukulele, what about you?" he replied

"i play the drums and sometimes the trumpet" i laughed

"any chance i could have a mini concert in here?" i laughed

"if you want, my ukulele is in my car in the car park outside" he laughed nervously

"wait would you actually?" i gasped in disbelief

"yeah if you really want to" he stood up

"oh my god" i clapped excitedly

"see you soon, look after yourself." he smiled and waved goodbye through the window

he seems nice

"you two seem to be getting on well"

i looked up and saw the doctor there

"how're you feeling today?" he asked

"i'm honestly fine" i sighed

"are you sure?" he asked raising an eyebrow

"yes, to be quite honest with you i didn't even try to kill myself i was just having a bad day and relapsed" i replied

"well the cuts on your arms are quite deep and there are a lot of scars on your arms"

"i know that, they've been there for years." i laughed nervously

"were going to give you an appointment with our best counsellor and we're gonna let you leave tomorrow morning" he told me

"okay" i replied

after checking my arms and replacing my bandages he left and tyler walked in holding a brown ukulele

"are you sure you want me to sing you my songs now?" i asked

"why wouldn't i?" i laughed

"because they're probably not good for your state right now" he sighed

"its fine down worry" i looked at him and smiled

"so this one's called isle of flightless birds, i hope you like it because ive never showed anyone this song" he laughed nervously

now is the climax to the story

that gives the demons and angels purpose

they fly around while we are walking

and mold our emotions just to please them

i am cold, can you hear?

i will fly with no hope, no fear

and the ground taunts my wings

plummet as i sing, plummet as i sing

we find our worth in giving birth and stuff

we're lining our homes against winding roads

and we think the going is tough

we pick songs to sing, remind us of things that nobody cares about

and honestly we're probably more suicidal than ever now

if you decide to live by, what you think's wrong and what's right

believe me you'll begin to wish you were sleeping

your weeping will creep in your head and you'll cry

but if we wake up every morning and decide what we believe

we can take apart our very heart and the light will set us free

i am cold, can you hear?

i will fly with no hope, no fear

and the ground taunts my wings

plummet as I sing, plummet as I...

i am cold, can you hear?

i will fly with no hope, no fear

and the ground taunts my wings

plummet as I sing, plummet as I...

how frustrating and so degrading

this time, we're wasting

as time will fly by and the sky will cry as light is fading

and he is waiting, oh, so patiently

while we repeat the same routine as we will please comfortability

yeah, please don't think about why you can't sleep in the evening

and please don't be afraid of what your soul is really thinking

Your soul knows good and evil, your soul knows both sides

And it's time you pick your battle, and i promise you this is mine

he looked up at me with a small smile on his face

"that was beautiful" i wiped a tear away from my eye

"thank you"