Bob's Life: Global Warming

Chapter 5: Green Heroes

An eccentric thesaurus. A dictionary who can cook. A fun-loving, mischievous mechanic. And about a thousand cats. Well, there aren't actually a thousand, since Cat Cult only had 124 members. But there were a lot.

Cat Cult couldn't get any weirder, can it?

Wrong.

Cat Cult is in hiding, sure, but somehow, a panicky green-clad hero found their headquarters and was accepted into Cat Cult immediately. He is known worldwide for his incredible feats, although he is usually shadowed by his much more famous brother. In Cat Cult, however, he's one of the most trusted members. Everyone appreciates what he has done for the world and their little eccentric group of people and animals.

Yup, you guessed it. Luigi has joined the Cat Cult.

He made friends rather quickly too, although he spooks easily. Official Sushi Dictionary happens to be his NUMBER ONE FAN (he asked me to make it all capitals) and after a few conversations with Luigi panicking and Official Sushi Dictionary going into extreme fangirl mode, they became very good friends. Best friends, in fact. And they're still best friends to this very day.

Official Sushi Dictionary was watching intently as he watched Luigi add special, innovative features to his Poltergust 3000. It was a normal vacuum cleaner until Luigi decided that, one day, he would use it to suck up ghosts. Smart idea. And somehow, it actually worked.

Well, long story short, Luigi broke it 2999 times. That's why it's Poltergust 3000. Believe it or not, there was once a Poltergust 1, a Poltergust 2, a Poltergust 3, a Poltergust 4...

There are waaay too many Poltergi to name. Is Poltergi even the plural for Poltergust? Well, I thought narrators were supposed to know everything, but I'm wrong, apparently. Let's just stick with Poltergust 3000.

"You could add a spooky mode." said Official Sushi Dictionary, shaking his head so that his bangs would fall in front of his eyes. It looked...very...intimidating? I think it makes him look more like a mushroom than anything else since he is practically incapable of looking 'spooky'. He always looks very friendly. A friendly edgy teen. A friendly anime character. A friendly mushroom. And so on.

"I don't like spooky," Luigi responded. "I can add a sushi mode if you want."

"What would a sushi mode do?" Official Sushi Dictionary tilted his head in confusion, messing up his very impressive(and rather odd) hairstyle.

"Shoot out sushi, I guess."

"We already have a sushi cannon, a sushi launcher, and a sushi gun." Official Sushi Dictionary pointed out.

"Then a...thesaurus mode?" Luigi suggested awkwardly.

"I thought Moonfishy's in charge of thesauri." said Official Sushi Dictionary. "Oh, I know! How 'bout a grass mode?"

"Great idea!" Luigi set off to work on the grass mode, and Official Sushi Dictionary grinned proudly as he watched his best friend tinker with the vacuum cleaner.

"Hey! Sushi!" Matthew the Calculator waved, sticking his head into the doorway. "What does 'syllepsis' mean?"

"'A figure of speech in which a word is applied to two others in different senses! Or to two others of which it grammatically suits...'"

"That's enough, buddy! Thanks!"

Matthew was similar to the unrelated linguistic siblings, in which he had something hardwired into his brain, but it was a calculator, not a dictionary or thesaurus. His unrivaled talent in math earned him a scholarship at Harvard, and he had already completed his first year of university studies at the age of seventeen. But his English isn't exactly the best, frankly. He can make up for it with his very quick mental math and detailed mathematical explanations.

Official Sushi Dictionary tends to be more patient in teaching others about words. His sister, Moonfishy, just stutters and walks away, muttering about how teaching cats would be much easier. She is a very socially inept creature.

At that moment, a figure rushed in, wide-eyed and terrified. Luigi let out a shriek at the sight of the new figure, wielding his Poltergust 3000.

"It's just me, Luigi!" The figure turned out to be Khadija, and she trembled in fear, despite her annoyed tone and cold glare. "I'm not even a ghost. Doesn't anyone have any common sense anymore?"

"Well, I dunno. I think Min does." Official Sushi Dictionary answered with a shrug.

Khadija slapped a palm to her forehead at his clueless response, and she turned to Luigi, gaze set and serious. "I think Katherine's at it again."

"A what now?" Official Sushi Dictionary asked.

"Ka-ther-ine." Khadija said slowly, rolling her eyes. "And she's back, and I'm pretty sure she killed someone."

"Wait..."

"Yup."

The mood suddenly darkened, and Luigi awkwardly put down the Poltergust 3000. Katherine was a villain who is extremely skilled in the arts of sneaking, weaponry, and she knows of some basic dark magic. She has been a threat to Cat Cult for many years, and she's even aided their deadliest enemy, the Lost Lollipop Souls, in trying to defeat them. She abandoned killing people and went into hiding for two years, and everyone thought she was gone for good.

They were wrong.

"Can I use Poltergust 3000?" Luigi asked.

"She's not even a ghost, Luigi." Khadija sighed. Luigi awkwardly put it down again.

Khadija straightened, her gaze flickering from Luigi to Official Sushi Dictionary. "Alright, guys." she said, her voice suddenly cold and authoritative. "Prepare your words, Official Sushi Dictionary. Get your sister, too. And Luigi, prepare your weapons and spread the news. Katherine's back."

Author's Note:

Honestly, Official Sushi Dictionary is amazing. The person he's based off of is a fan of Luigi, while I'm here knowing absolutely nothing about him. So please don't be mad if the characterization of Luigi was completely off.

I do not own Luigi, and never will!