Bob's Life: Global Warming

Chapter 11: Cooperation Is Difficult

"'Join Cat Cult?'" Official Sushi Dictionary read the poster, perplexed. "We already have a total of 128 members. Why do we need more?"

"And I thought we were in hiding?" Khadija pointed out.

"I'm pretty sure that we're going to need more hands soon." said Moonfishy, voice cold.

"That means more people to interact with, Moonfishy." Official Sushi Dictionary teased, knowing just how socially inept she is. Actually, I'm pretty sure everyone in Cat Cult knows how socially inept she is. And I really need to vary my vocabulary.

"But what if Mustard's coming back?" Moonfishy hissed in a hushed voice before gathering the huge pile of posters, walking out the room.

"A who-what's-it-now?!" Official Sushi Dictionary exclaimed.

Khadija sighed, fiddling with the small cat badge on her sleeve. "I have no clue."

Well, spoiler alert. Khadija's gonna find out what she's talking about soon enough.

The Lost Lollipop Souls have managed to take down half of the world's military. The same people who were trying to shoot down the army of ghosts and robots were now faithful followers of Sunny, who could do anything she wishes with her newfound power.

But the question still remains-how did she manage to control such a large number of people who are obviously against her?

That was the question that Min was struggling to find an answer to.

"How?" the Cat Cult leader muttered to himself. "Even she isn't capable of possessing more than one person at a time. Maybe she threatened them all, or something..."

"Last time I checked, Sunny wasn't bulletproof." Luigi piped up.

"Last time I checked, nobody had the audacity to dip donuts in mustard!" cried Official Sushi Dictionary, quivering with rage.

"Who in the world does that?" Matthew asked, frowning in disgust.

"Mustard!" Official Sushi Dictionary exclaimed, waving his arms over his head frantically. "She was already awful enough! Even the condiment is awful!"

Several Cat Cult members protested against the dictionary's outburst with cries of, "Mustard might be evil, but the condiment tastes good!" or, "Ketchup is worse!"

And, of course, Official Sushi Dictionary responded with incoherent shrieks, saying something about how ketchup is the only good condiment. Which started a screeching argument about condiments.

Min looked up, staring at the Official Sushi Dictionary in astonishment. "How did you find out?"

"Didn't you just tell us that last week? We had to talk about some really weird memories, and you talked about the evil condiment demon from the 70s."

"Oh, right."

Lily suddenly started screeching in excitement, and everyone immediately put on the earmuffs that have become part of their Cat Cult uniform, courtesy to Lily and her...screeching. The 'earmuff protocol' has become a pretty usual event among Cat Cult's cave.

"We could use the bubble tea machines!" she squealed excitedly. "And artificially flavoured pumpkin pie!"

"That's actually not a bad idea." said Luigi. "If Sunny actually is bulletproof, we won't be able to beat her and her army with normal weapons. Our food weapons might actually have some sort of purpose for once!"

The 128 members of Cat Cult started chattering excitedly, practically bouncing with every movement. Without warning, the Official Sushi Dictionary dashed off for a recipe book and cooking utensils.

"Alright, but how are we going to afford this?" Min asked, and Cat Cult immediately went completely silent. Food is expensive, especially in an apocalyptic world.

"Ooh, I know!" said Jack. "Bob!"

Oh, so Bob is useful after all!

Author's Note:

This is the real reason why we added Bob, guys.