02/04 8:53
The fear,
It's always there,
It tries to consume me,
Chopping down on ever
Hope I have left,
Help me.
———————
02/11 11:03
I was about to cry,
Cry over you,
I stopped that tear,
Swiped that bitch off my face,
Why?
I was looking at old photos,
Then I saw one of you,
I hesitated to delete it,
I ended up not deleting it,
It was painful,
Plus I was lazy,
Nah it was just too painful,
Ugh why do I do this to myself?!
...
...
Because I miss you crazy...
...
Fuck that was one of your songs...
...
Why... why'd you hurt me like that?
———————
04/13/19 2:48
It's been so long,
How's it going?
Hey?
Helllooo?
Nice talk.
I miss you,
only a bit.
Or maybe it's just the time we spent.
Got rid of somethings, that held memories of you.
Made me cry for those times to come back.
But I'm stupid to think that, it won't happen.
I'm starting to feel okay with it.
Having to let things go is a bit step,
Healing and Growing.
Changing myself step by step.
———————
06/10/19
I'm back.
Maybe not for long.
I'll try though.
But I've been thinking.
Why do people hurt, why do I hurt?
Why do they feel the hurt, why do I feel the hurt?
Because...I don't know.
I felt hurt.
She hurt me.
She used me.
I felt angry.
She betrayed me.
She was disloyal.
I hate her.
But I don't wish bad upon her.
I'm happy.
Happy she's gone.
But maybe not from my heart.
But, oh well.
I can't change the past.
And I don't plan to stay in the past.
So I say good-bye to the past.
We had a long run.
Now it's time for the future.
A bright one.
———————
1:18
Why?
Why after searching for so long,
I still can't find it.
Is it okay to stay this way for a long period of time.
I have so many voices in my head telling me different things, it's hard to keep up with just one thing.
I'm so lost and I just want to be found.
Endless nights of sadness and staying up late waiting for an answer.
But I know deep down that if I just stay here and do nothing, I won't find myself, I can't continue like this.
The feelings I've been having are the worst.
I just feel like I'm in a deep hole of depression, a hole I can't seem to get out of, and I want to so badly.
But all these voices, so negative, so sad, I just can't help but listen to them.
I need help.
———————
1:28
I'm happy
I found my happiness
I found it in myself
i found it in others who love me dear
i found it in the words of their advice
i found it in my mentors
i found it everywhere.
