Hetalia Crack

Cousins and france.

OKAY SO MY COUSIN, Emily, AND I WERE JUST TALKING AND RANDOMLY CAME UP WITH SHIT SO HERE IT IS. And yes I know it is long but just read it >.<

Writer: WAIT EMILY WHEN DO YOU START SCHOOL?!

Emily: From the darkest sun that casts it's menacing rays on the world, we sense your intentions Francis Bo- AGH! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE??

Writer: Uh... All I wanted to know is when you started school... ;^;

Emily: I started yesterday.

Writer: You mean today? Yesterday was Sunday.

Emily: Yeah, today. Now shoo. I'm practicing my black magic. *Flips through a book while looking like an English badass*

Writer: B-but I wanted to ask you something about magic.

Emily: *Growls* Make it quick.

Writer: How do you make a dragon stop from going on a rampage? Oh and is there a spell on how to finish homework without doing work?

Emily: Uhm, I could summon a demon to help you...

And sorry love, that you'll have to do on your own.

Writer: Okay... AND DAMN IT THIS DAMN TEXT BOOK IS F*CKING SH*T I HATE THIS F*CKING REVEIW ON THE CHAPTER AND WHY DO THE TEACHERS F*CKING HATE US?! *goes into emo corner and listens to punk rock music*

Emily: I CAN HELP! *Waves wand* *Summons Russia* sCREEEEEEEECH.

Writer: RUSSIA! *glomps* hey are you good at social studies?

Emily: somewhat... *sips tea*

Writer: If your iggy then I can't yell at you cause it's the civil war.. =___=

Emily: *Throws tea on the ground* I WILL NOT HELP YOU STUDY THAT BLOODY GIT.

America: *Bursts in* I heard my name~

Writer: Yep! I'm working on your civil war in class right now since we are going to do world war 1 soon which I don't think I need to learn that but YOLO!

America: DUDE! I can totally help you with that!

Emily: NOBODY ASKED YOU FOR ANY HELP!

America: Oh hey... Emily. You're here. *Narrows eyes*

Writer: *jumps on Americas back* why you got to be so rude~ oh and I finished it so sorry Alfred...

Alfred: *Pouts*

Emily: All of you! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

Russia: You're so cute when you're angry. ^J^ *Pinches Emily's cheeks*

Writer: Do I have to leave? *puppy dog eyes*

Emily: You can stay...

Francis: *Bursts in half naked* WHAT DID I MISS?

Emily: *Faints*

Writer: *kicks Francis in the balls* shut up you idiot. ((A/N yes I get kind of mean to Francis but I don't really hate him ^_^))

Francis: *Falls on top of Emily*

Emily: *sCREAMS* gET HIM OFF ME.

Writer: *pulls him off and throws Francis out the window* surprisingly he is very light for how tall he is.

Emily: *Nods* That bloody wanker has been chasing me around all day. *Shudders*

Writer: Why are you turning into England?

Emily: I am not!

Sealand: *Pops out if window* Are too you British jerk of jerks!

Writer: My god... Wait sealand. If UsUk is a thing who is the mom and who is the dad?

Sealand: Well America is my dad and my mom is E-

Emily: OKAY. EVERYBODY OUT. NOW.

Writer: I'm staying.

Emily: *Growls*

Russia: Da, I want to stay also.

America: Dude, no way I'm leaving now!

Sealand: You tell her dad!

Francis: *Pops back up through window* Can I stay too~?

Writer: No! *punchs Francis out of the window and makes him land in Russia where the wars are*

Francis: *Grabs onto Emily, dragging her with him*

Writer: DAMN IT!! Russia! To your country! *hopes on his back*

Russia: *Flies away on a unicorn because f*ck logic*

Writer: YESH unicorn powers.

Russia: *Lands on the ground as unicorn bursts into a million little cupcakes*

Writer: OOO! Cupcakes! *grabs one and eats it*

Emily: Oi! Over here! *Is being pinned to the ground by France*

Writer: *runs over and kicks France off of emily* GET OFF HER YOU F*CKING FROG!

France: *Screams like a little girl*

Emily: Thanks for saving me from that frog.

Writer: You're welcome! Oh and Francis... *sweet little chibi face turns into mean mad chibi face* DONT EVER TOUCH MY COUSIN AGAIN! GOT IT?!

Francis: *sCREAMS*

Writer: I think I made myself clear. Now time to take Emily home. *slings Emily over shoulder and jumps back onto Russia's back* BACK TO EMILYS HOUSE!

*FLYING ON DUH MAGICAL UNICORN OF ADVENTURE~*

Emily the narrator: And they all lived happily ever after... Except for Sealand who was practically pointless in this situation.