bit of a TW -- mentions of dans ex boyfriend again (abuse, domestic abuse etc.) & panic attacks pls stay safe
Phil's pov
The rest of Christmas Day is amazing, we laugh, we eat, we play monopoly. It truly is the most complete that Christmas has ever felt. Dan and I head off to bed at around nine.
"Thank you for today, your family is so amazing, I love you all so much." Dan says sleepily laying facing me.
"Its no problem babe. My family love you too, plus you basically are family now," I tell him and he smiles,
"yeah, I guess I am."
***
I wake up and hear Dan crying, I look over at him and he's still asleep, moving around and tears streaming down his face, a thin layer of sweat in his forehead,
"Leo Stop! Please! I'm sorry!" he yells in his sleep and I realise what's happening. I immediatley put my glasses on and shake Dan awake,
"Dan? Dan!" His eyes fly open and he pushes my hand off of him,
"nononono" His breathing increases further,
"Dan shh shhh it's okay" He gets up and paces around the room, trying to steady himself, I walk over to him and offer him my hand, he takes it and I pull him down to sit on the floor.
"Count to ten for me" I say softly and He manages to get to six before breaking down,
"Come on. no no don't force yourself to make eye contact with me, focus on your breathing," I put his shaking palm on my chest,
"Breathe with me"
"H-he was there Phil. L-Leo was there and he was hurting me an- and he was hurting you! I can't le-t you get hurt. And I- I was hueting myself again Phil. I was back there.." Dan throws himself into my chest and I cradle him a bit like a baby,
"shh It's okay he can't hurt you sweetheart. I've got you, always. Okay? He can't hurt you anymore, I promise you. And he can't hurt me either, shhh shh it's okay" Dan nods into my chest and his ragged breathing calms down a bit and I can hear him counting under his breath like I had told him to.
*
*
I rock him back and forth gently, counting along with him quietly, it takes about 20 minutes but he eventually calms all the way down and lifts his head off of my chest,
"I'm sorry Phil. It's been y-years and I still have nightmares about him and I've just ruined this amazing day that we had"
"Shh no no, Its alright love, I'm just happy I woke up and realised what was happening. I am forever sorry you had to put up with that asshole and I promise I will never treat you like that,".
"I know that Phil. You're not him. You are everything that he wasn't. You're nice to me, you cover me in kisses whereas he covered me in bruises. You actually love me. And I love you so so much, thank you."
"I love you more. Do you want to go back to bed?" I ask and he nods so I lift him up just like I did earlier and I lay him back down on the bed and i put the cover over him.
I walk back around my side and get in, the moment I lay down he automatically lays on my chest and snuggles into me.
"night night"
YOU ARE READING
internet friends;; phan
Fanfic'stalking him 'til he loves you - right guys?!' *~☆ an au where lowercase is intended, and about dan and phil being internet friends in 2018. So basically the 2009 story, but in 2018. phil is a small youtuber with 10k subscribers, and one of them, d...
