"no halo on my angel"
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Love meant pain to Jeongin before Chan came. Love meant being cut and tortured and used. It meant giving up your body because if you didn't give him pleasure, you were useless.
But now, love meant happy. It meant cuddles on the couch while watching Frozen. Love was oversized hoodies and graffiti on the wall. It was tender touches and gentle kisses but also consensual pleasure.
Love made Chan not afraid to talk about how stupid he thought some Disney Princesses were for an hour and sing the songs like he was Whitney Houston. It made him bold and confident, but also sympathetic and soft, and he was living for it.
Love made Jeongin terrified, but it also comforted him in a way no TV binges or sweets could. It made his cheeks flush and his heart race. Everything he was embarrassed about was cherished like it was gold, and to Chan it was.
Time was but a distant fear to Jeongin, who believed he had all the time in the world. Chan, however, was scared of time, of its power and the sadness it brings, and he knew it was coming. But this time he couldn't stop it, only Jeongin could.
So Jeongin coughed and he threw up, he laid on the couch and ate a Klondike bar while Chan carded his fingers through his sweaty hair and made sure his trashcan was nearby. Frozen played on the screen and for once in his life, Chan didn't care that let it go was playing. He gave Jeongin the pills and the medicine like it was gonna work, and the hope in Jeongin's eyes almost made Chan believe it would. He let the boy rant about his life and talk about how the flu was keeping him from it.
Fear made Chan's heart flutter and hands shake.
Jeongin wanted to go outside and run because for once in his life he felt so free. He wanted to wake up to Chan's sleeping face as he watched the cat videos that were left open on his iPad. He wanted to know that someone would love him even if he wasn't perfect, and they wouldn't show him by hurting him. He loved knowing that Chan would pull him closer and give him a deep kiss if someone looked at him with lust, that he would show Jeongin off like he was a trophy.
Love made Jeongin's heart flutter and hands shake.
