I need you (Jacksepticeye x reader)

Mornin

I slowly woke up, but didn't want to open my eyes because I was so comfortable and warm, but I froze when I realized I was on top of something.
And it had just moved slightly.

I glanced up to see Sean's sleeping face, I fell asleep on him.
You know what? Fuck it I don't even care right now.

I closed my eyes again and listened to his heartbeat, it was honestly really soothing. Just knowing someone else was there with me made me feel happier.

My mind flashed back to last night and my whole meltdown. I quietly sighed, disappointed that I couldn't hold myself together, but I felt better.
A lot better then I had in a long time.

The slow rise and fall of Sean's chest almost put me back to sleep, but then I felt him stir again beneath me.

He tensed up for a second, probably realizing that I was sleeping on him, but then relaxed again. He started gently playing with my hair and I let him.

After a while I opened my eyes and looked up.
Sean smiled softly at me.
"Mornin'."
"Good morning. Sorry for falling asleep on ya." I grinned.
"I don't mind," he chuckled, "did ye sleep well?" I nodded and he held up a stand of my hair in my face.
"Look, I braided it!" He said proudly. Sure enough it was in a braid, it was a little messy, but a braid nonetheless. I rolled my eyes and got off of him.

I rubbed my face, trying to shake off my sleepiness. Sean got to his feet and walked to my kitchen.
"There should be some cereal in the cabinet and frozen pancakes in the fridge," I called to him, "feel free to eat something."

I got up off the ground and walked to my room. I pulled out a hoodie and leggings. I quickly changed, brushed my teeth, and put my hair back up in a bun before going back to the living room.

I picked up the remote and pointed it at the tv, turning it on. I decided to watch the news for a little while first, before going over to Netflix.

Sean soon came back over with two bowls of cereal, setting one in front of me. He scurried back to the kitchen and brought back two coffee mugs also.

"Thanks, you didn't have to get me anything. I could've done it." I took a sip of coffee and wrapped my hands around the warm mug.
"I wanted to though, after all I'm the one who started yelling at you last night." He gave an apologetic smile.
"No need to feel sorry about that!" I said, surprised, "I needed someone to yell at me so I could get my shit together. I was being selfish."

"How?" Sean raised an eyebrow questioningly.
"I hung out with you when I felt like it and then ran away whenever." I sadly answered.

I began to feel brave and I looked into his eyes, "Its like at random times everything becomes too much for me. I don't want to feel weak so I just hide until the feeling goes away. It worked for a long time, but recently it started to get harder to keep myself together." I sighed,
"Sorry I'm talking too much..."

"No! No you're not! This is good, you're talking and not running away. So keep going." Sean gave me a reassuring smile. I opened my mouth to speak but..

There it is again!
That feeling...

I shook my head and forced myself to continue.
"Like right now, my stomach feels weird. Not in a bad way I don't think. It's like I don't feel sick or anything. I haven't felt like this before but over the past 2 weeks it just started.
It's.. umm.. like..." I struggled for words.

"Like a fluttery feeling." Sean said.

"Exactly!" I said surprised, "do you know what it is?"
"I have an idea..." He said, scratching the back of his neck and looking down.
"Can you tell me?"

"I- I think this is something you need to figure out." He looked back up into my confused gaze.
"Oh, ok.." I took another bite of my cereal my eyebrows furrowed in thought.

"Can you tell me one thing though?" I asked looking back up at him.
"Of course."
"Is it a bad thing?"

"I don't think it is." Sean smiled softly.

~~~~~~~~~
After Sean left I went to my recording studio. I had been working on a song recently, but when I looked at it now I scrunched my nose up.
Everything I had written seemed fake and forced now.

I crumpled up the paper and threw it in the trash. I took out a pencil and immediately began writing.
My mind seemed clearer now and I had written a new song in 2 hours.
"Wow, that's the fastest song I've ever done."

I put my headphones over my ears and stood in front of my mic. I grabbed my guitar from the corner and hooked it up to my recording equipment. I worked on getting the tune perfect and when I finally did I started singing.

When I finished singing the song I was tearing up. Not because I was sad though, these were tears of joy because it was the best song I had ever wrote.

I smiled, set my guitar down and took off my headphones. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and opened up Instagram. I started taking a video:

"Hey guys! I just wanted to say that I'm super pumped for my new album that's going to come out in a few months! The song I just wrote has so much meaning to me and I'm beyond excited that you guys will be able to listen to it soon. Anyway, I am planning on going live in about an hour because I haven't been able to for a while with everything that's been going on recently. Hope to see some of you there!"

I put the video up on my story and made myself some lunch which consisted of a grilled cheese and tomato soup. I quickly ate and went into the bathroom.

I washed my face with some cleanser and prepared myself for what my hair was going to look like.
"Alright y/n, hope for the best."
I took my hair out of the bun and brushed it out.
"Damn!" I looked at my hair, surprised that it looked kind of decent. Instead of looking crazy after being up, it had some soft waves throughout.

I gave myself a once over in the mirror, making sure I didn't look dead, and gave a small nod of approval. I picked my phone up, checking the time.
Only 5 more minutes till I'm live.
I missed interacting with fans and was excited to be able to talk to them again.