The drive back to the city was filled with silence. Ellie was trying to process everything in her mind, and although Jason wanted nothing more than to comfort her, he wasn't really sure what to say so he just gave her space to take it all in. Ellie was so deep in thought that she didn't realise when they had arrived back at her apartment.
"Ellie?" Jason spoke up, breaking her out of her trance. "We're back Sweetheart" he said softly.
"Oh" she whispered. "Sorry... I didn't realise how zoned out I was. I haven't been very good road trip company have I?"
"You've had a rough day, don't worry about it" he smiled politely. "C'mon, I'll walk you up".
They made it to Ellie's door and she stood there for a moment just staring at it, as though she was completely spaced out.
"Lost your keys?" Jason prompted.
"What?... Oh no, they're right here" she said as she shook the thoughts from her mind and unlocked the door. Jason stepped in behind her and quietly closed it. He wanted to at least make sure she was okay before he left, she seemed so broken by the events of the day he was worried about her state of mind.
"Can I get you anything? Order some take out or something?" Jason offered.
"I... I'm not hungry" she mumbled softly.
"You should eat something Ellie. How about you go take a long hot shower, and I'll order some Chinese food. It'll be here by the time you're done" he suggested.
"Yeah, okay" she replied with a weak smile that didn't reach her eyes, before quietly padding down the hallway towards her bedroom.
While she showered Jason thought about how he could help her. At first he thought maybe a glass of whiskey would be a good start, but he didn't want her to drown her feelings. Besides, alcohol is a known depressant, the last thing he wanted was to make her feel worse. He and Ellie had spent enough time together over the past month that he knew a lot about her. He knew her favourite movie, her favourite snacks... almost everything about her except any deeply intimate facts of course. So he ordered her favourite Chinese food and while he waited for it to show up he searched her dvd shelf and found her favourite, popping it in the player for her. Rummaging through the kitchen cupboard he found the stash of her favourite snacks and laid them out on the small table in front of the sofa. Just then the doorbell rang. He collected the food and paid the man, setting it down next to the snacks on the table before pouring her a large glass of orange juice from the refrigerator.
Ellie emerged from the hallway dressed in a pair of soft grey pyjama pants with a floral pattern on them and a loose fitting grey tank. "What's all this?" She asked as she spotted what looked like a smorgasbord of food on the table.
"I wanted to make you feel better, so I found some of your favourite things" Jason smiled.
Her eyes went from the array of food, to her favourite movie The Avengers on the TV ready to start, to the soft fleece blanket draped over the arm of the sofa. "You remembered all this?" She whispered a little shocked.
"What can I say... I'm a good listener".
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"You certainly are" she smiled. "Jason... will you stay with me? I... I don't want to be alone" Ellie confessed.
"Of course Sweetheart. Whatever you need. I'm here" he said as he sat down on the sofa and gestured for her to take a seat next to him. As she sat down he tucked the soft mint green blanket around her and handed her a box of her favourite noodle dish before hitting play on the remote and settling in.
Despite saying she wasn't hungry Ellie devoured a whole lot of Chinese food, and followed it up with some M&Ms and sour gummi worms. They were about half way through the movie when Ellie declared she couldn't possibly eat any more. "I'm gonna be the size of an elephant" she chuckled.
"Not possible" Jason laughed. "You're so tiny, I don't know where you put it all".
"I won't stay this way if I keep eating" she giggled.
"You'd still be adorable" he smiled sweetly making her blush.
When they came to the end of the movie Ellie let out a small yawn. "Maybe you should get some rest Ellie. It's been a long and hard day for you" Jason said.
"I don't know if I want to sleep. There's so much going on in my head right now".
"You wanna talk about it?"
"I just... I have an answer. I should feel some sort of relief. But I just feel broken and empty" she sighed.
"I know Sweetheart. I'm sorry you didn't get the kind of answer you were hoping for" he said as he put an arm around her and pulled her in to his side.
"I keep trying to tell myself that a shitty answer is better than no answer at all. But right now it just feels... shitty" Ellie told him.
"It's okay to feel shitty. It's okay to be mad, sad or disappointed. The last thing you want to do is ignore those emotions. Don't bottle it all up. Let it in, let it wash over you and in time you will feel better. I promise" Jason whispered as he stroked her hair.
"Thank you Jason. For... for everything. For not giving up, for helping me find an answer. For all of this" she said as she gestured to the nights events. "And for everything in between. I can't thank you enough".
"You paid me to do a job. And I always deliver" he said. "But Ellie... I want you to know, even if you weren't paying me I would have helped you all the same".
"You're a good man Jason... but why? Why would you help me if I wasn't paying you?" She asked.
"Isn't it obvious?" He asked, and she shook her head a little in response. "I like you Ellie" Jason confessed.
"Y-you do?"
"I do" he smiled.
Ellie stared at him for a moment before fisting her hands in his shirt and crashing her lips against his in a desperate and longing kind of kiss. It took mere milliseconds for him to react and he kissed her back, his tongue gently running over her lower lip.
"Wait... wait, wait" Jason whispered as they broke apart for air and she looked at him with a confused expression. "I don't want you to rush in to this. I don't want you to do this for the wrong reasons because you're grieving" he stated.
"I'm not. I promise. I'm doing this coz I want you Jason. I've wanted you from the moment we met" Ellie confessed.
"You felt that too?"
"I felt that too" she confirmed before pressing her lips to his once more.
