Don't let go

Him

The funeral commenced on Wednesday as planned. The sky was a cloudy silver, giving the gloomy feel under the whole town.

My heart sank with every step and every word.

The visitation was an hour before the funeral, Zack came as a supporter to me. Maybe that was his way of becoming closer.

He held my hand, kissed my cheek, hugged my when needed.

Pictures of him placed around a spray of white lilies. A golden light shines down on his once healthy face.

I didn't go up to the casket, an act I never regretted. How could I bare to see him breathless, still.

During the ceremony, my mother sat on the left, on my right was Zack, then Peter.

"Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust." The minister finished with final sacred words.

At the lunch in after, there weren't very many people. Just his co workers, friends, and us. It was at the park, breezy and cool. The way grandpa would have wanted it.

The next day consisted of nothing but grieving and moping. She canceled all of her meetings and just moseyed around the house. Looking for some activity to keep her occupied so she could cover up her pain.

I avoided her, even went to the pharmacy with Peter, since I dumped the remainder of my pills down the toilet.

Anti depression and anxiety meds, it made me sigh.

"Are you and Zack back together?"

"Yeah. I guess"

"You guess? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Yes. Why are you so concerned?"

"I hate him." He says in an anger filled voice.

"Why!"

"I just don't trust him!"

"Why?"

"Didn't you suspect he was cheating?"

"I'm also paranoid."

"Whatever."

I knew there was another reason for his hatred, but I knew he wouldn't make it known unless he wanted me to know.

School continued on the next day, on the Friday. I calculate the point of not going back until next Friday, I was already fallen behind.

I dressed in a pair of skinny jeans, a plain coal long sleeve, with flowing beach curls, with flip flops. Jeans and flip flops. Usually a look I go against, but hey, TGIF.

My face lacked makeup. I didn't care, I was still adored by everyone.

I entered the geometry room, all the seniors eyes on me.

"Tiffany, your supposed to go to the office, your schedule changed." The teacher stated.

"This late in the year?"

"It may be some confusion. Go get it figured out." He directed.

Great, I thought. Three freaking hours of sitting in the office, listening to the office ladies chat on the phone while I wait for the principal.

I strolled down stairs and opened the heavy door, slamming my thumb between the door and the doorway.

My face cringed as it pierced a shade of a new pimple.

The wrinkled face office lady stared into my eyes, as if she was medusa freezing my soul.

Yeah, I paid attention in mythology.

"My schedule changed according to Mr.Derks?" I strained it as a question.

"Have a seat, I'll let principal Lemmings know your here."

I plopped down in my designer blue jeans into the themed chair.

Grey, sadness, and depression came to mind.

But when wasn't that on my mind?

Twenty minutes pass, still seated by a floor plant the office lady has watered twice. Multiple students, parents and teachers stopped in the office for some reason or another. They all probably think I'm a troublesome hooligan.

"Miss Foster?" Mr. Lemmings addressed.

My sleeves were cuffed over my hands, due to the god damn air vent directly above me.

I followed him down the stretch of a hall way, branching rooms off it.

We entered the third branching room, aka his office. The door squeaked as he closed it behind me.

"Sit."

"I heard my schedule changed?"

I sat down in the middle out of three chairs, grey as well.

"Yes. Your physical education and chemistry hours were switched. But that is not why I have called you in here."

He crossed his legs, while a cricket ran across my stomach.

What was happening?

"Oh?" I waited for him to continue.

He folded his hands onto the desk.

"I recently heard your grandpa passed. My sympathies."

Like he really meant that.

"Thanks." I murmured.

"With everything going on in your life, I thought you may want to talk to someone."

I raised my eye brows.

"Someone?"

"A physiatrist, or the school councilor."

"What? Why?"

"I also mentioned it with your mother. She agrees that it's a good idea."

Which made me wonder, how much did she tell him?

My heart stopped. Did he know what happened that night?

No. Of course not. The only people who know is me, and him.

The nameless boy who saved my life, which I was referencing as him for the time being.

"I'm not insane! I don't need to see anyone!" I

"Calm down. I never said you were insane. It's just a way to... Let your feelings out."

"I'm fine. I don't need anyone to talk to."

He adjusted his striped tie.

"Alright. Fine. Here is your schedule, and if you ever need anyone to talk to I'm sure you can make an appointment with Ms.Lumis."

"Thanks." I said in a snarky tone, pondering my eyes across my new schedule. Not much changed.

A sudden voice cracked from the office lady's desk. An odd voice rose.

"I hope you enjoy it here, Mr.Wilder."

My eyes glimmered off the paper, my jaw dropped to my shoulder.

It was him.