Trans!Ftm x Fandoms (Watty Awards 2019)

Panic Attack (Rant)

Another rant. Sorry about not updating for a while. My mental health just kinda snapped and I've been struggling. Hopefully I can get some oneshots done tonight.
-Jeremiah
The teachers cold eyes stared at me intensely re-asking the question, "Why do you have gum?"
Now this was a normal question, after all I was in choir and she expected us to not have it since it can become a choking hazard. I understood this and I could have answered the simple question and been fine afterwards like the rest of my classmates, but I guess that isn't in my program.
I started noticing the obvious signs pretty quickly. The lump in my throat and my chest seeming like it has gained weight. My heart sped up, but not very much. The small burning sensation appeared on my nose, signaling there was a possibility I would tear up. The grip on my binder grew harder and more tight. "It's so I don't chew on my finger nails." I answered in a hushed tone. I didn't want everyone to know my anxiety was so bad, I devour my finger nails, but it was too late. The tall girl in the Altos cringed and gave me a look, as if I'm a cockroach that has walked in her food. She wasn't the only one. All of the altos look disgusted and some of the soprano's did as well. The burning in my nose got stronger; my heart sped up to the point I could feel it in my legs. Finally the teacher told everyone to go and join the boys in the other room, but before she could finish she asked for me to stay behind. Everything began to shake and become more intense. Tears flooded my vision and I began to have trouble breathing. I hid my face with my black binder until everyone had left the room.
The teacher walked up to me and I snapped. I couldn't breathe and I was crying. I began gasping for air while the teacher froze in shock. "Jeremiah? Are you okay?" I tried to answer, but it sounded like I had the most extreme case of the hiccups. "I" *gasp* "don't" *gasp* "know." The teacher sighed and hugged me. "Calm down. When you're calm, you can join us. Stay in here until then, okay?" I nodded and as soon as she left the room, I found a corner to hide in.  Putting my head on my knees, I pulled my hair, I attempted to take deep breaths, but I just couldn't calm down enough to stop gasping for air and crying. My chest hurt and I kept making weird sobbing noises. I covered my mouth with my hand, so no one outside would hear me.
But it didn't matter. No one would hear me.
No one would even care anyways.

So here I was, sobbing in the back room of my choir class knowing that even if I wanted someone to, they wouldn't come. They didn't care.