Trans!Ftm x Fandoms (Watty Awards 2019)

I failed them

I'm sorry for this. I just really needed to write my thoughts down.
I was never really a people person. I hated how unloyal and untrustworthy people were so I usually connect to animals a lot more.
Two years ago, I was suffering through a dark depressing stage in my life. My mom suggested a mental health animal to help.
I ended up with two guinea pigs. I named them Anubis and Loki. I could never spend more than an hour away from them. Anubis was the runt, so he was my baby, while Loki was my big bub.
Anubis died in August of 2018. He got sick and my parents told me he would be okay. They believed that he didn't need to go to the get since he had gotten sick before. We cared for him like always, making sure he had vitamin C and plenty of healthy veggies, but he got worse. Eventually, dying.
Yesterday, Loki got sick from the same thing. We could never figure out what caused it. I have been looking after him all day. Nighttime came and I set up a bed for him so I could keep an eye on him. Less than a half hour ago, he died.
I wish I could've done something. Anything. Some how I let my parent convince me twice that my babies would be okay and they weren't.
And because of my selfish decision, they died and suffered. All because of me.
I'm so sorry, babies. I miss you guys so much,
I failed you both.
I was an awful father.
I hope you're in whatever afterlife that awaits us all, eating tons of tomatoes and roman lettuce.