The Alpha and The Assassin

Chapter 13

I rub at my eyes, trying to rid the sleepiness from them as I stretch out under the covers. A soft purr vibrates through my body at the feeling before I roll over and curl up into a ball. A line of sparks trails up and down my back, sending shivers of pleasure running through my body. Another purr vibrates through my body as I try to wiggle back into the sparks, enjoying the feeling immensely. The deep laugh of my mate echoes around the room bringing a smile to my face.

"Kitten, it's time to wake up," he whispers into my ear. His warm breath fans across the back of my necks sending another shiver of pleasure through my spine. I hum softly before curling up into his chest earning another chuckle from him.

"No," I mumble softly, not ready to get up.

"Come on love. We've got to get up." I groan softly and force my eyes open to send a glare in his direction. He just chuckles again as I roll away from him to hide under the blankets. I feel him slip out of bed slowly. I start to rejoice in my wonderful little win of not having to get up only to have the blankets torn off the bed. I gasp as the cool air brushes against my skin. Hayden's warm hands suddenly grab onto my ankles as he lifts me off the bed, dangling me upside down over the floor. A squeak of surprise escapes my lips before it's quickly followed by a deep growl.

"Hayden! I'm so going to kill you. I'm going to cut you up and feed you to the pack," I yell at him as I thrash around in his grasp. His deep chuckle fills the room while simultaneously filling my body with rage before he gently drops me to the floor. I scramble to untangle from the blankets he dropped me in as he runs out of the room. As soon as I'm free from the tangled mess of sheets, I take off after him out of the room and down the hall. He's already off the last stair by the time I reach the top of the staircase. I bite my lip briefly before climbing over the stair railing and leaping onto his back from above. We fall to the floor in a heap as I pin him to the ground, giving him my best evil glare. He sends me a wink as a smirk rests on his lips.

"Well hey there. You know if you wanted to  be on top, all you had to do was ask." I glare at  him, smacking his chest. My feline, however, liked his innuendo.

"Perv," I grumble as I slide off him to head back upstairs. He laughs softly before I hear him start to follow me back to our room. I throw myself onto the bed, landing face first in the pillows that are laying there. The bed shifts as he lays beside me before he gently rolls me over.

"You know we need to talk about what happened. Do you know why would couldn't wake up," he asks softly. His voice is gentle and soothing as he rubs small circles on my side. I take a deep breath as I sit up, not really wanting to talk about this. I hug my legs to my chest as I stare down at the sheets, nodding slightly to answer him.

"I was trapped. I was holding onto something that was hurting me, wearing me down every single day. Something I didn't realize was slowly killing me, but it was. I had pushed it into the deepest recesses of my mind, but that can't hide the guilt from what happened."

"What happened," he asks softly, his hand rubbing up and down my thigh gently.

"I killed her. Well, I caused her death. When I was young, before my parents died, I was friends with a girl in the neighboring pack. Ren and I played near the borders a lot since our packs got along, and that's how I met her. She was beautiful, even when we were kids. She was also special. She wasn't a normal shifter, her mom was a witch. She was able to meet her mate when she was really young because of being a half witch, and that always made me so jealous of her. She was the sweetest thing though, completely pure. 

It was just us one day and we were playing near the border, like we usually do. Nothing had ever happened, and we were just kids, so we didn't think we needed to worry about anything. We decided to go exploring, like most kids do. We ended up getting to the border that lines our packs with no man's land. We didn't realize it at the time though. It was too late by the time we realized how dangerous it was near there. Rogues were coming, and they were surrounding us. I... I panicked. I didn't know what to do. I was just a kid.

Felines, we can shift starting when we are very young. I shifted when I was six. She wasn't a full wolf, or full witch, so she couldn't shift yet. Or use any of her powers. I freaked out. I shifted and climbed a nearby tree out of panic. I didn't think about her until it was too late. By the time I turned back to help, the rogues had come out of trees and they saw her." I take a deep breath as tears fill my eyes at the memory. Hayden tugs me into his chest, gently rubbing my back as he waits for me to continue.

"I froze. I couldn't move. Instead, I saw there helplessly as I watched them grab her from where she was trying to climb the tree. I watched as they threw her to the ground. And I watched as the brutally murdered her, just for fun. I didn't do anything to stop it, I didn't make a sound. I couldn't.... I just left her there to die," I cry as tears flow down my cheeks. He rocks me gently, rubbing my back in a soothing manner until my sobs have relaxed enough for me to finish.

"Her mate lost it not too long after. He couldn't handle losing her. He... He killed himself less than a year after she died. To make matters worse, he couldn't even be with his mate after he died as well. No. Because I had managed to trap her wolf in my mind and I didn't even know it."

"It wasn't your fault Emmet. You were a kid. There wasn't much you could do," he whispers softly into my hair as he continues to rub my back gently.

"She told me that she forgave me for what happened. I just can't forgive myself. I could have done something, anything to help save her."

"There's nothing you could have done love. You can't protect everyone. You didn't kill her. The rogues did. You need to believe me and let it go. You both will be happier if you can find it in yourself to forgive yourself." Maybe they're right. Maybe I should just let it go now... It's been so long...

"I want to let it go."