Love Birds | ✓

27. Home Sweet Home

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It feels good being home.

In our home.

After a month of juggling work, commitments and shifting, we finally managed to shift into our new apartment. A pent-house condo on Westside Street with a view of the Thames, just enough to accommodate the two of us and our dreams.

It's surreal.

It's just another Wednesday morning and we're both snuggled up in each other's arms, letting the sunlight dance around the curtains and into the rooms without inhibition. Your fingers gently graze the tenderness of my arm and I sigh.

We both do.

We're months away from getting married, and our families are now a flurry of delight and excitement. And yet neither one of us have gotten entangled with the wedding planning yet. We were both focused on planning our humble abode instead, days and nights soaked up in planning the minutes details of what was going to go in and where.

And it's perfect.

I remember days when I'd return back from to an empty apartment, the only company being the ghosts of my thoughts. A lot of them. They were jolly days.

Sometimes I still find myself threatened by the insanity of just how much I can think and feel in a moment without really expressing anything. Some things are rooted deep within, I guess. Our minds run to it like moths to a flame.

But you've ensured to ground me to reality every time.

We were friends for 5 years before dating each other and yet when we did start going out, I realized that it was quite unlike what I was expecting it to be. I was the chatty, expressive one while you were the silent, observant one. But what I hadn't been counting upon was just how good you were at this. At being with me. At making me feel so good. At making me feel accepted.

I remember being on the constant advice roll with you when you were dating Zara and needless to say I thought you pretty much sucked at it because you somehow could never read her and I found an instant readability to her. We are both very much alike as people that way so I could relate to her point of view a little too clearly.

But when we started going out, I could relate to yours. Being friends gave us a different perspective of each other; being lovers though was an entirely different ballgame. There was a patience and resilience that was unprecedented with us, more from your end than mine, obviously.

Everybody loved me for my warmth and kindness and generosity. Nobody ever could my intensity.

Until you came along.

The first six months often went in trying to pacify me for I flew off the handle often, curled into silent shells of intense vulnerability and insecurity and spent more days overthinking than I did working. At one point in time I'm certain we both thought I'd gone completely insane.

But you held on.

By the end of our first year together, you began to truly understand me. That beyond all the humour and smartness and boldness there was a girl who just wanted to be accepted. A girl who just wanted to be loved for all her imperfections without being judged. A girl who wanted a house of love that touched the skies but gave her the freedom to go back to ground too.

A girl who just wanted to be at home at the end of the day in the warmth and security of love.

And that is exactly what I feel today. Right now, in your embrace. It's been three years today with us on the tenterhooks of getting married. And it's not been an easy journey, no matter how good the moments sound.

Love was hard, but relationships are harder. And nobody's happily-ever-after story changes that. Because there are no happily-ever-afters without work and efforts.

Daily work and efforts.

There are days when I wake up and don't feel like putting in even 5% of efforts but those are days you put in 95% of them and ensure there's a 100% being given and vice-versa. There are days where we drive each other crazy with just how we are, but there are also days where we're crazy about each other and are high on how we feel together. 

And if that's not home,
then what is?

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