The Fear of Falling Apart (BoyXBoy) UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Chapter Nine

I squeezed Blake's hand lightly, unable to stop myself from looking over at him out of the corner of my eye. I couldn't help but admire him, fully embracing the feeling of butterflies in my stomach and that warm feeling in my chest. Although he wasn't looking at me, his cheeks were flushed a light shade of pink and he curled his lip towards any if the passerby's who had the balls to stare at us. No one dared to whisper a word, however, not as long as we could hear, and simply pressed themselves against the lockers, mouths gaping like fish. On the other side of me, West babbled away, seemingly not paying any attention to anything that was going on around us.

Yeah, the stares felt a little weird, but, honestly, it felt really good to just be able to walk with Blake, hand in hand. 

"I'm just saying, I deserved an A on that paper. At least a B+. I don't give a single fuck what Mrs. Linley says," West sighed dramatically, shaking his head. He looked between Blake and I. "You two proofread my paper. It was good, right? I mean, for me, right?"

Blake's head snapped over. He blinked. "What?"

I snickered, giving his hand a squeeze. Turning back to West, I shrugged. "I thought it was pretty good."

"Yeah," Blake scoffed, eyes flickering over to West. "For you."

"Careful, Blake. That was awfully close to being a compliment," West smirked, shooting him a look, which Blake returned with a shrug. Blake tossed a smile to him, which West eagerly returned. He threw his hands up, huffing. "Either way, I deserved better than a B-."

Much to my surprise, the two had been getting along much better lately. After that whole scene in the kitchen a few days ago, and after West interrupted us again, West spent the day hanging out with us. He really started talking to Blake and we found out that the two actually had a very similar sense of humor, only with different ways of showing it. Naturally, West got after us for PDA a few times but, eventually, he gave in and let us do as we pleased. 

I couldn't help but feel proud of Blake these days. Little by little, he's coming out of his shell. He smiles so much more than he used to and he had even started speaking up a little bit more in school, instead of just muttering rude, vulgar comments to himself. People can finally tell when he's joking. He's really starting to open up and I'm completely living for it.

Although, no matter how happy I am, there was still one thing that made my stomach queasy. 

I don't want him finding out about how this all began. I don't want to hurt him. If I could just manage to shut this all down quickly and quietly, then he wouldn't have to know. I know it's fucked up and wrong but I couldn't help but consider it. I don't want to ruin what we have. 

For the moment, I'm happy. Just for the moment, I feel like I'm in complete and utter bliss with my boyfriend on one side and my best friend on the other, playfully bantering back and forth with each other. But, you know, naturally, this is the point in the book where everything starts to go wrong. Of course, the author just couldn't let me have it. 

We pushed through the double doors to the cafeteria, making our way to our usual tables. West plopped down in his usual seat and Blake and I made our way around the table. As Blake started to release my hand, about to run off to find Rose like he usually did, I gripped his hand tightly. He glanced back, quirking a brow at me. I flashed him a smile. "Why don't you sit with me today?"

His brows shot up and he blinked at me. Hesitantly, he peaked over at the next table over where he and Rose usually sat, then back over to me. "Are you sure? I can just find you after lunch like I always do and-,"

I waved my hand, dropping my backpack into it's usual spot in front of West. "Of course I'm sure. Please?"

Ever so slightly, his lips started to tilt into a smile. He nodded quickly and although he was trying to hide it, I could see the excitement in his eyes. I beamed, sitting down in my usual seat. Blake carefully placed his backpack in the chair next to mine and leaned against the back of my chair. I glanced back at him, quirking a brow.