Rockstars don't cry

chapter 10

5 Seconds of Summer- Disconnected

it's been a week now . i'm free of been in the hospital . tori and cole think i need to see a therapist and that annoys me everytime i think about it . i skiped school too and it was like a break for me from all the drama 

justin , zack, luke and alec visited me almost everyday . wich made me think they are my real friends  . also that made cole and tori happy because finally i found some  true friends that i can hang out with 

" okay guys one last time " i said while i fixed the microphone . 

we were at luke's small studio at his house . we were training for the cafeteria's show which is  after a week. i could convince luke to not cancle it and i nailed it .however we are performing disconnected  written by justin and zack 

" guys we repeated the same song 3 times stright ,we're performing two more  you know " justing said throwing himself on the purple sofa 

" but it's our opening song ,we will work on the two others " luke put down his guitar " but for now we need to take a rest " 

" just imagine us hearing the crowd shouting our band's name while we're panicking backstage" i said setting next to justin 

" damn , i'm so excited for that " zack respond giving a smile 

" well if we work hard , we're sure have to worry about paparazzi " alec spoke 

a silance took over the room till justin decided to break it by asking me " so rokeen , are you okay " 

i nodded half smiling " i'm fine , the cutts still hurt like hell but , yeah good " 

" i mean mentally , " 

my smile faded away as i looked down playing with my hands ." did you do that because of the video " he asked again , as alec punshed softely giving him the shut-up look

i sight and start to explain what happend 

" mary took my nervs , after that video the hole school went wors than it was already , they joked as much as they could when i'm around and i could tell when i'm not too , and i'm so done by them calling me psycho , and yeah i punshed clarisse cause she told me to take a paint shower and i was so mad . so the principale called tori instead of cole and he said that i have detention for 2 weeks if she doesn't forgive me " 

silance took the room again 

" i mean , they bulliyed me right ? and i had to do that cause they don't understand with just  talking " i gave them the numb expression . " but yeah it was my fault cause i hit her " 

" don't say that , it's their fault " justin hugged me  as the the others did too 

" i love you guys , " i teared joy . 

time skip 

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today is the  our first ever performance together i looked behind the long dark blue curtain . it was a big place for a cafeteria with a small stage ( just like the place in the weeknd - can't feel my face music video )  . the tables were fully with people , teenagers the most .  i was nervous and excited at the same time .

i was wearing a checkered green dress with a white blouse and heels ending it with half braiding my hair and half down and smoky eyes makeup  . it was my first time wearing heels , wich the fear of striping is hunting me