Rockstars don't cry

Chapter 9

Jo Dee Messina - If Heaven Was Needing A Hero

luke's pov

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i donate blood for rokeen hoping it would save her . she still didn't wake up and that got me more worried  than i already am 

now it's 23:45 p.m tori ,cole and the rest of the boys went home , tori didn't want to but cole forcely took her . she needed rest after what happend . plus , the doctor said that rokeen has a high possibility to survive 

but i stayed here . with her 

The room was quiet sad . it was just the two of us , well one alive and another in between 

i looked at her , she was beautiful even when she's passed out, stressed , tired , sad , without makeup  even that she never wore makeup . her brown hair was perfectly falling on her right side . i smiled . and i kept smiling even that i was sad but i enjoyed looking at her . and i can't stop praying for her awaken .

i put my hand above her's , gently squeezing it , i  whispered " please wake up" 

i kept staring and i start talking to her . she couldn't hear me anyway " rokeen , don't ever do that again . you don't know how much you mean to us ... to me " i teared 

" i understand that you felt oppressed after all what happend . but you can't revange by  hurting yourself , hurting you means hurting me " i looked down and teared more " you are not alone okay , we are here for you just please wake up " 

i kept looking while my eyes droped some tears but no answer from her . " i love you " 

the words that i couldn't say while she was awake . that i was always afraid to say and i wished that she could hear these 8 letters .i just really hope she'll wake up soon and some memories with her wouldn't stop passing in my head 

i remember her smile , her laugh when she was happy , when she finally start feeling confidant 

  I remember the last time I saw you

Oh you held your head up proudI laughed inside when I saw how you were standing out in the crowd

You're such a part of who I am

Now that part will just be void

No matter how much I need you now

Heaven needed you more  

i came up with this song while the memories and sweet moments  came .but rokeen if you don't wake up, if you don't survive just know that heaven needs you more 

  Cause Heaven was needing a hero

Somebody just like you

Brave enough to stand up for what you believe and follow it though

When I try to make it make sense in my mind

The only conclusion I come toIs that Heaven was needing a hero like you  

and that hero is you 

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i fell asleep on the edge of the bed . the next morning , i woke up hoping that rokeen is awake too but ... nothing .i looked down hopeless and sad till i felt a soft touch on my hand . i looked up and my eyes got wide 

she's awake 

" hey luke " she smiled weakly  . my mouth opened , the words chock . 

she kept smiling and i can't believe she is alive . 

i huged her as my eyes turned red . she huged me back still laying on her bed " why did you do that ?" my voice crack as i broke the hug . she looked away and smiled ( disappointed ).she kept silance avoiding eye contact . i could feel her sadness inside of her 

" it's not the first time " she looked down  , half smiling " and they don't know " 

she looked at me and added " so don't tell them that i already did that  " 

i shook my head about to speak till the door opened.

" oh my god " tori threw herself on rokeen hugging her 

rokeen's pov 

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Just why . why did i cut , why did i try to suicide, why did i survive ? 

" oh my god " tori ran and hugged me , i could feel her tears drifting from her eyes ." rokeen oh my ... " cole as well hugged me . . " i'm so sorry honey , i didn't .. " tori cryed more  . she felt guilty and that what made my smile fade away " no no ... it's no ones fault , i did it it's mine's " i broke the hug of the 3 of us 

" you could die , you could be dead right now you didn't have lot of time and ... and without luke you could be dead " tori said between her breath . 

" luke ? "  

" you lost so much blood , and the doctors didn't have the right time to bring the blood's bags luckly luke donated some " cole pat luke's back and smiled  " he's the hero " 

i looked at luke  , he felt shy so he smiled slowely not saying anything .  cole and tori went to buy some coffee because it was early in the morning so it's just the two of us . 

" i didn't tell you " luke broke the silance  

" the last cover we did got 20M views " he smiled " are you kidding !! " i shouted   as i took a setting position instead of laying  

" you know what that means " i added " we could be famous " that's our dream . my dream to show our talent and the world know our names 

" and i set up for us a performance in a cafeteria  for the 2 weeks from now but i will cancle it " he lowered his gaze  

" why will you do that " i crossed my arms  

" You " simpely he replied  . i didn't understand at first but then i got it 

" no no don't cancle it . i'm fine . i can performe .. please don't do that i'm sorry " said i with i'm-so-sorry look . i gave him a puppy eyes as he sight " rokeen ... " 

" pleaaasssee " i cutt him