Rockstars don't cry

Chapter 7

alessia cara - river of tears 

I got fooled by him :)

 walking fast covering my face with a black hoodie but paints is already above my clothes  an ocean of  tears falling down my cheeks , i held my crys as hard as i can  .  i don't know where i'm going all i knew was that i'll end up the night crying a river of tears  , and there's where i came up with the song .

  I'm going down, and you have watched me drown

In a river of tears, lost beneath the stream

Under the waves, I've found the strength to say

The river of tears has washed me clean  

It felt so real , he used to put flowers in my locker , write quotes and poems for me . hug me . 

and i'm just a dump girl who let her emotions control her instead of her mind 

home 

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After a long walk , i found myself craying in the shower . happily no one's home . how can i ever return back to that school after i became a hillorious joke like i'm not already one under the students eyes . i don't get it , since middle school they always bullied me , even that when me and mary where childhood friends . we where besties that do everything together but i was kinda better than her . i had better grades , i was everyone's friend at middle school   unlike her  . mary was shy and hidden , she wanted attention  and the most important me and brandon were a couple , however tables have turned . 

mary became much more beautiful and knowen , they found her cool because she shooted a commercial for make up products and here we are . 

" Rokeen we're home " tori screaming from  downstairs 

out of the shower , straight to the kitchen i near the door  " hey tori , can i just ...skip dinner , i already at "  

" Are you making me worry " she rested both her arms on her hips  and i shoke my head " nop  , don't worry be happy " i forced a smile on my face 

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Setting in the corner of my room , looking out of the window feeling guilty , guilty and regretting for everything that happened . God i feel so so stupid , i want to hit my head over and over towerd the wall . i want to change school , no change town and disappear from everyone like i never existed . i don't want to go to that school anymore 

suddenly my phone rangs . justin's name appeared on the screen 

" rokeen ? are you okay ? " justin  is calling 

" fine ," it was a lie   " the painted in no more ?" i asked  

" i thought you--- wait you didn't see it ? " said justin , my eyebrows crussed as i said confused " See what ?" 

i hear him talking  " she didn't see it guys , "  he picked the phone again and said  " nevermind dear don't worry abo---" 

" see what justin !? spell it out "  i shouted in an angry tune 

" The video " he answered 

" what video ?" i asked again , at that moment i remembred . that scum was holding his phone he was filming me