s m i l e

16: talentless

A/N: just so people dont get confused, this chapter goes back to where we left off before 14 and 15, bc i want to keep writing about young natalieeeee :,)) love you kitty whores

natalie's pov

after chatting for a while, everyone besides brendon and i had run off somewhere, whether it was exploring the venue or getting ready for the day. i was enjoying my cup of coffee and messing with the velcro of my boot when brendon decided to break the silence and scare the shit out of me.

"i'm bored."

"jesus," i jumped, almost spilling my coffee, "what the hell. you just scared the shit out of me."

"whoops. anyway, lets go look around the venue. hurry up and get dressed."

"what about my-"

"c'mon nat! we only have a few hours."

"ugh. fine. ass."

and with that, brendon gathered what i assumed to be his clothes for the day and locked himself in the bathroom.

"what the fuck... am i going to wear..." i muttered as i dug through my suitcase.

"oh yes." i said a little louder than i was expecting as i looked at the outfit i had picked out. black leggings, a lavender hoodie that i didn't know i had, my pretty. odd. denim jacket, and my checkered slip on vans. i checked to make sure no one else was on the bus before quickly changing.

"c'mon brendon! i need in the bathroom! what are you even doing that is taking so long?"

"my hair, nat! it takes time to create the perfection that is my floof!"

"well i need to do my hair and makeup so can you pleaseeee hurry?"

"fine! only because you're my favorite." you could practically hear his smile.

"thanks! love you dad." i beamed at him as he opened the bathroom door. he bent down (not very far) to peck my forehead before moving to let me into the bathroom.

"scoot over, i still have to do my hair. we can share the mirror." brendon said as he bumped me over. i wobbled a bit before grabbing the counter and regaining my balance.

i put my hair in a loose low ponytail and pulled out some of the shorter hairs around my face, and applied some mascara while brendon ran his fingers through his hair repeatedly because that definitely works.

"ready?"

i nodded.

"okie dokie. lets go." he winked at ne and motioned for me to follow him.

---

after about 45 minutes of looking at the venue and looking at every little thing brendon found in his path, brendon decided it was time to go back to the bus.

the boys had come back during the time brendon and i were exploring. i sat on the couch next to dallon, brendon, kenny, and dan sitting at the the table in the kitchen. i had a notebook and a pencil, drawing away whatever i thought of. i liked to draw eyes, and had a tendency to draw them every time i had a pencil in my hand. anyway, i sketched things i was thinking about, and eventually i decided to move on to drawing on my phone. i liked to start off doodling and move on to my phone, to get me into a drawing mood.

i sat and drew on my phone for a while, before finally realizing that i was alone. dallon had moved into the kitchen, along with my notebook. i could tell he took it because i heard things like "i didn't know she could draw." or "this is really good." i began to make my way into the kitchen to reclaim my stolen possession when i heard something that hurt a lot.

"i didn't know she had talent." was all i hear from kenny's mouth before i rushed (as fast as i could in the damn boot) into the kitchen and snatched my notebook from him. i ran off the bus and into the venue to hide from the boys before they would inevitably find me. i was very insecure about my drawings, and pretty much everything else about me. i found a small room very far into the venue, where i was sure they would not find easily.

i started to look at my drawings, quickly noticing wet spots on the paper. i didn't realize i was crying. it was light, not completely sobbing but there were definitely steady streams. i started to think about what kenny had said. i really didn't have talent. since i got my braces, trumpet was so hard that i hadn't even tried it in months. i was still no good at piano, and it was clear that my drawings were not enjoyable. i began to cry harder and harder, and the more i cried, the louder i got. suddenly i choked or something, because i couldn't breathe. i gasped repeatedly but i got nothing. my chest felt like it was caving in, as i continued to suffocate. it felt like the walls had crumbled in and there was no where to go. i cried and cried, trying to scream but nothing came out. i pounded on the floor, the walls, anything that would make a noise loud enough for someone outside to hear. i took one last gasp for air as by vison blurred, before fading to black as i lay on the floor.