Out From Hiding

My Shot

L i n

           I've never cried so hard at Anthony's fake death in my whole life.  I always remind others that the world is packed with gloom and that we could die any second now.  I was just obsessing over it. 
           If that was Anthony and not Philip I would have driven myself to insanity if we ended on such a note.  I couldn't shake the mourning face throughout the rest of the show, every time the crowd laughed I could feel a fresh wave of tears hit.  I was starting to feel dehydrated and dizzy so I had someone bring my water bottle towards the wings so if I needed water I could just ruin one scene and not faint. 
               That would be a different musical than the audience paid for and I might get bad press. Just kidding, the obamas would personally deliver flowers to my hospital bed.  The overflow of liquids I consumed ever second I could was making me feel sick to my stomach.  My day was now up there in the list of worst days of my life so far. 
             The final scene was about to begin and I was just pushing through for this one teenager. Who has cried significantly more than me somehow throughout the entirety of the show.  I need to give that guy a hug, he looks so affected by the music I wrote. 
           Pip was about to enter for the final number and I wanted to sob and throw up.  I couldn't possibly describe how overwhelmed I was.  I turned away from the audience to see Anthony standing quite close to me with a single tear coating his speckled cheek. 
               Oh my, I wanted to kiss him softly so he'll blush. I can't deal with him until the show ends so stubbornly I draw my attention away from him and finish my performance. I blow so many kisses during the bows that I'm worried my hand might fall off from shaking it. I just need to sleep for the rest of my life and I'll be fine.
           I trudge off then I get my stuff and mentally prepare myself to see all sorts of things I don't want to on the train. As I go to leave my dressing room, I almost run into Anthony.
"I'm uh" I squeak.
He engulfs me into a warm hug and I want to melt.
"You did nothing wrong, I just felt kinda off today." He whispers into my hair as I had stuffed my face into his chest. I had to hear his heart beat. I had to know he was here.

         "I feel mentally disturbed." I admit to him and his eyes widen.
"Are you okay?" He asks as the default question all people would answer that with.
"When Philip died today I felt like I wanted to go with him. The thought that if you died and we ended our time together like that and I never told you how I felt truly." I mumble.
"Lin , my god. You might need to see a therapist for a bit." He responds and looks sadly down at me.
"I feel so bad right now." I cry into Anthony's second hug and let him cradle me. I felt submissive and weak and just small.
"It's okay, you are safe with me." He soothes and pulls my hair back for me since he knows that it must've been itching my neck.
"Want to go home now?" Anthony asks when my noises start to soften. I look at him with glassy eyes and sniffle.
"I need you to hold me , that's home."