Safe from Scars (COMPLETE)

24. Ellie

⚠️📌🥀

"My mother used to say the happiest day of her life, was the day we were born." I begin to tell him the story of us. My sister and I.

He's lying down, his head on my pillow, arms resting behind his head as I sit at the bottom of the bed. I'm facing him, legs crossed.

"Ellie was born first. And I followed a couple minutes afterward.
We had a normal childhood. My mother and father were madly in love then. We used to watch them dance in the kitchen after dinner, sneaking kisses when they thought we weren't looking. Ellie and I used to sit at the top of the staircase, when we were supposed to be in bed, but they allowed us to watch them dance most of the time. We admired the way they held each other. The way their eyes sparkled into each other's. The way my mother would rest her head on his chest, and he would place a single kiss on top of her hair."

Roman's face is concentrated on mine, just listening.

"We were inseparable. My sister and I. We were bestfriends. We never fought. We never argued. My mother swore we were angels.
Our family was like every other family.
Saturday's were family nights. We played dolls, father would join us for tea parties in the backyard sometimes, and mother used to watch from the kitchen window. Sunday's were for church. I thought we were all so happy."
"One night, when we were 8, Ellie and I listened from the staircase waiting for the music to start, so we could watch them dance. But it didn't.
They were having an argument.
We didn't understand what was going on.
My father was upset about my mother coming home from bible study without her wedding ring on. We were too young to put the pieces together. We assumed mother just misplaced it, but there was more too it.
My father screamed, and my mother threw dishes. Then my father began ripping down the framed photos from the wall as my mother cursed him. He said everything was a lie.
It lasted for an hour. Ellie and I just cried, and held each other at the top of the staircase.
She told me everything was going to be okay.
She tucked me into bed as the snow fell in the dark just outside my window and kissed me on my forehead and told me she was going to fix it."

I feel that lump in my throat rise and tears form.

"She wasn't in her bed the next morning, but there was a note on her pillow. I couldn't read very well at the time, so I took the note to my parents bedroom. I shoved the note to my sleeping mom and told her that I couldn't find Ellie."

"My mother's eyes scanned the yellow note and she jumped out of bed, pushing me aside as she ran down the stairs, tears already falling from her face, screaming for my dad. I followed her stopping at the top of the staircase.
The front door was wide open, allowing the winter air and a little bit of snow through it.
And I remember my mom, collapsing at the end of the stairs, screaming for Ellie to come back."

Roman sits up, and moved closer to me. He's directly in front of me, taking my hand in his, as my tears roll.

"You don't have to continue, Kali." He said sympathetically, then wiped the tears from my face. He sits closer.

I shake my head at him, wanting to continue.
"Nobody knows about my sister. Just my mom and aunt Trish. I need to tell someone. " I say, almost begging for him to listen.

He nods, still holding my hand, and lets me continue.

"My mother screamed Ellie's name, still on the floor. And I still didn't understand what was going on.
My dad emerged from the living room, hungover, and she threw the note to him, sobbing now. The color left his face, and he threw his boots on. He dropped the note and ran out the door. Without a single word spoken."

Roman squeezes my hand.
And I clear my throat.

"They found Ellie's body under the ice of the frozen lake. Still in her nightgown, with her rain boots on." I pause, finding the courage to speak Ellie's last words.

"She was going back to church, to find mother's wedding ring, so that father wouldn't be upset anymore." My final tears fall, and I try to control my breathing.
I've never said any of this out loud. Not to Trey. Or marina. Or Jo. Nobody knows I have a sister.
Had a sister.

"Ellie went back to look for my mom's ring, but it turns out, my mother was having an affair that Sunday, and she forgot her wedding ring at another married man's house."

Roman wraps both his arms around mine, pulling me into him. Hugging me, as my tears soak his chest.

"I'm so sorry, Kali." He whispers

We just sit in silence for as second.

"My parents marriage was never the same after Ellie died. They never smiled. They never kissed. They never danced.
Two weeks later, my father came into my bedroom at night. It was midnight and I could smell the alcohol on his breath.
He didn't mean to wake me when he kissed my forehead, but he noticed I had woken. I was asleep with my stuffed elephant, I'd named after my sister.
He sat on my bed and told me he loved me. He said Ellie and I were the best thing to ever happen to him. He told me that his heart was hurting, and I told him mine hurt too, because I missed my sister.
I asked him to stay with me until I fell asleep, because the room was too lonely without Ellie. He kissed me one last time, and I fell asleep. " I trail off.

"He hung himself in our backyard that night. My mom found him in the early morning."

Roman squeezes me tighter, his strong arms making me feel right at home, then I pull away to meet his eyes.
I want him to know that as much as it hurts to tell him these things, I am so thankful that he allowed me to. I don't know if I would've been able to tell anyone else this, but I trust him.

He's staring down at me, eyes glistening, and I can tell that he hurts for me.

"Kali." He whispers, eyes searching mine. He's looking for something in them.

I smile up at him.

"I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. A weight I've been carrying alone since I was a child. My mother wouldn't allow me to speak of them. She wanted to forget. She drowned herself in her sorrows and eventually in a bottle.
But, Roman. I feel so free right now. I feel like I can talk about them."

He runs his finger along my cheeks, tracing over where my tears had fallen. Then he brushes my hair away from my face and leans down toward me, so our faces are only inches from each other.

My heart pumps faster and that electric tingle shoots through my body.

"You are an incredibly courageous human being, Kali. I admire your strength. I know you don't feel strong sometimes, love, but you are the strongest woman I've ever met."

And he brings his lips down to mine.

Shock waves through my body, then I quickly realize what is happening. I've been wanting this since I met him.

My lips push back, softly, just dancing with his. And they tastes just like I imagined they did.
His lips move in slow motion with and against mine. There's hunger but no force.

I trace my tongue along his lips as he continues gently sucking and planting kisses on mine.
My hands slide up from his chest to the back of his neck, pulling him closer to me. I need him.

I lean back on the bed, pulling him with me so he is hovering above me, our lips never parting.

His tongue invades mine, then his lips leave and trail down my jaw.
Down my neck.
To my collarbone.
Kissing and sucking with a fierceness now.

I can feel his tongue on my skin, leaving fire with every touch.

His lips find their way back to mine and he kisses me again, then another, only a lot slower and more gentle this time.

The hallway light goes on, snapping us out of our trance. Fuck. Trish is awake.

Roman jumps off of me, seating himself upright.
I feel like I can't move. Like my body is jello.
The electricity has paralyzed me.

We both laugh at my embarrassment.

"Just my luck" I mumble and cover my Face with both hands.

Roman's smiling at me and shaking his head, not letting me in on anything he's thinking.