Safe from Scars (COMPLETE)

38. Light after Dark

Roman's POV

The buzz of the city night surrounds me. Neon lights, cars honking, college kids out, celebrating what on a Friday night?
It just seems so cliche to me now. I can't imagine hanging around in bars every weekend, getting shit faced, taking a different girl home every night.

There's only one girl I want to crawl back to for the rest of my life, and she's at home, probably packing her things to leave me right now.
I deserve this.

Kali was absolutely speechless. Horrified that we were ambushed by my ex girlfriend from hell. Probably scared out of her right mind. Pissed at me for allowing Emily to keep her key. She has every right to feel those things right now.

And then there's Emily.
Who doesn't know how to let go. Or is it me who can't let go?
I can't believe I allowed her to get under my skin again. She has that power over me. She knows how I hurt.
And as much as I don't like to admit it, I hate that I hurt her too.

I don't want Emily anymore. I knew that from the second Kali caught us in the bookstore.
My heart sunk into my stomach, watching pain wash over her face. My heart nearly jumped out of my body and I wanted to kick my own ass.
From that moment, I knew that it was Kali.
And I wanted Emily gone from my life.
I want to move on with my life. A life that doesn't involve Em.
I mean it this time.

I stand from the bench, and head back in the direction of my apartment building. I want to slap myself for leaving Kali here, alone.

The apartment is dark.
That's different.
Kali is afraid of the dark, so she always leaves a light on in the living room, and kitchen.
I shut the door, quietly behind me. And head for the bedroom.

Her head pokes up from the pillow as she hears the door open.
"Hey stranger."
She smiles at me and I swear I fall in love all over again. I don't deserve her.

I kick my shoes off at the door, and peel out of my clothes before sliding into bed, next to her. She turns her back toward me and pulls the covers up over us as I scoot closer toward her.
I love to cuddle her this way.
My dick gets hard the instant she presses herself up against me, then she notices and we end up going at it all night.
But I also love the way she allows me to hold her. I love our bodies, fitted perfectly together and wrapping my arm around her, while her head rests on my other. I could sleep this way for the rest of my life.

Her skin touches mine, combining her warmth with my cold. Our legs intertwine and I wrap my arm around her, hugging tightly.
She's been crying.
I can feel the moisture on her pillow.
I feel like the biggest fucking asshole on the planet.

"I'm so sorry." I whisper, my lips pressed against her ear, placing a kiss against her skin.

"I'm sorry that she showed up here. I should have taken that key from her the moment she came back, so she knew we were over. I'm sorry that she said those shitty things to you, Kali."

Silence.
Silence that I deserve.

"I never meant for any of this to catch up to me, or affect you in any way."

Silence.

"Where did you go?" She mumbles softly. I can hear the hurt in her voice.

"Just for a walk. To clear my head." I reply.

"Maybe moving in so soon was a mistake. I should have waited until her things were gone, or at least until she knew about us. Maybe I should go back to Trisha's?" I can feel tears from her roll onto my arm, but she won't look at me.
I feel like a fucking jerk.
This is the exact opposite of what I wanted.

"No no no. Please don't." I plead, trying not to sound too desperate.
"You make this empty house feel like home for me, Kali. I want you to feel like this is your home too. Please."

"Do you think Emily is right? Do you think you can ever love me the way you love her?" Her voice sounds so small.

This is why she was crying.
I should have never left. I'm a fucking idiot.
How could she ever believe a word from Emily's mouth? Em knows nothing. Nothing about Kali. Nothing about us. Hell, she doesn't even know me anymore.

"She's wrong, Kali. I love you. Very differently from the way I used to love Em." I kiss her again, and wipe the tears from her face.
"I love you, because you're YOU. Because I know you, and I think you're an amazing girl. I love you because you are courageous, smart, and strong."
She turns toward me, our eyes meeting in the dark.
"I love you because you're beautiful, inside and out."

Our lips meet, her tears fall slowly against her face.
"Did you mean what you said to her."

I nod my head, and kiss my Kali to sleep.

The smell of coffee fills my nostrils before I wake. Coffee and breakfast. Waffles, maybe pancakes, and bacon.
My arm instinctively runs across the cold sheets next to me, but she's already gone.
The absence of her makes me feel so empty.

I rub the sleep from my eyes and make my way to the kitchen, stopping in the doorway.
She's still here. Thank god.
I honestly wouldn't blame her if she was gone without a word.

She has her speaker playing quietly, and the blinds of the window all the way up, allowing the sun to light up the house.
Of course, shes perched up on the kitchen counter, with an open book in her lap.
Kali loves to prop herself up on anything that isn't an actual chair.
Counter tops. The arm of the sofa. The dinning room table.

She's wearing my white T shirt still, with her fluffy white slippers. Her brown hair falls on both sides of her face, still holding the waves from her bun.

She presses her wine glass filled with coffee to her lips, and slips slowly, her eyes never leaving the book.
I think I could sit and watch her read all day.
She gets lost in the pages and everything surrounding her, disappears. The room could be burning down and she wouldn't notice if she was really into her reading.
Her head jerks up when she sees me in the doorway.
And there goes that smile.
I die a thousand times right where I stand every time she smiles that smile at me.

She really does make this place feel like a home.

"Morning, sunshine." Her voices rings from the kitchen as I make my way to her.
She bookmarks her page and sets the book down on the counter next to her, and stretches her arms out for me.
I take my place between her legs and bring my lips down to hers as her arms cradle my face.

"I made waffles and bacon." She says proudly, gesturing to the stove, and I kiss her again before grabbing a plate from the cabinet.

"You're in an extremely good mood today." My eyes watch her every move, still unsure if we resolved last nights problem.

Her legs swing from the counter, and she has the biggest smile on her face. I'm so glad to see it.

"I spoke to Josephine this morning. She's finally going home today." Her smile grows and her eyes water.
She fans her face as if that's going to stop the tears.
"I've been crying all morning, and I told myself I was done." She's still smiling.

"Happy tears I hope?"

She shakes her head and we both laugh.

I love her for being such an emotional being. Kali loves passionately with her all or it's nothing.
I wipe the tears that begin to fall and she starts to laugh.

I take her face in my hands, and kiss her again.

"So how about another trip to Vegas?" I ask.

Her eyes light up, once again, outshining the morning sun.