Safe from Scars (COMPLETE)

11. Boxes

Present day..

My first week at Tricia's was rough.
Despite her warm hospitality, and kindness, I still didn't feel like leaving my room. She had the boys bring me breakfast in bed, which was the sweetest gesture I've ever received, but I found myself forcing smiles and dreading the day before I even opened my eyes.

I spent most of my days in my new room. I couldn't gather enough energy to even unpack. All of my life sat in boxes along the wall near my door. Pictures. Clothes. Purses. Shoes. Gifts I've saved from Trey throughout the years. Memories. My entire life, aside from a few outfits and my books, all boxed up, awaiting me. The thought of unpacking is painful.

The Saturday morning sun crept through the curtains, begging me to get up and do something with myself. The brisk air was so refreshing. I could hear the boys in the living room on the other side of my wall.
They were singing "Mr.Sun" along with Barney, blasting through my iHome speaker I gave to Trish. She loved music, and dancing. The boys did too. So she set it up on their bookshelf in the living room.
The three of their voices, sung loudly, and off key. The twins love when Trish plays the "obnoxious mommy". She gets cheesy silly and it makes them go nuts. I know how they feel. Nothing is better than watching your mother unwind, and have fun. Those days have been long gone for a while for me.
But today will be a new day.

I gather every ounce of strength in my body and spirit to head out of the bedroom.

The smell of banana pancakes fills my nostrils before I reach the end of the hall. I stop behind the door frame connecting the hall and living room and just watch.

Who would've thought that almost-three year olds could have so much energy throughout the entire day? Morning, noon and night. Like energizer bunnies going non stop. Trish is a beast for keeping up.
I'm jealous.
I wish I had that kind of energy.

The three of them are standing on the sectional, singing along to Barney, as if the living room were a rock concert. Elijah, still in his pull up, jumping up and down, taking full advantage of the "obnoxiously fun" mommy moment. His chocolate brown curls are sitting in a mess on his head but his smile is ear to ear.

Thomas is sitting on Trisha's hip, while she jumps on the couch along with Elijah. Her microphone whisk held up to her mouth, as she sings along. Thomas has on his Pj Masks pajamas, letting it shy giggles with his legs wrapped tightly around his mothers waist, clinging to her. I could always tell the personality difference with the two of them.

It's so strange to think about how my aunt Trish is a widowed mother of two twin boys. Her body is looks even more petite with the almost three year old hanging onto her like a little monkey. Her skinny frame makes her look like she doesn't eat much. She's grown permanent dark circles under her eyes, but she's still absolutely beautiful. And the strongest woman I know.
Her appearance doesn't reflect all that she has going on in her life.
I should take notes.

I clear my throat as I enter the room, but it doesn't stop the dance party.

"BREAKFAST WILL BE READY SOON! DO YOU EAT TURKEY BACON?" She blurts into the air, trying to over power the speaker.
I smile and nod my head then plop down at the dinning room table.

Breakfast is amazing. As I thought, Trish is a great cook. I devour my food. It feels like I haven't eaten in ages.
I clear my plate, and start to the sink for dishes. I don't mind cleaning. In fact, I insist because I want to help Trish as a way of thanking her for everything.

"Do you need some help unpacking your boxes?" She asks nervously behind me, as I stare out into the front yard, watching the twins play with their cars. There is a hint of worry behind her question. She probably thinks I'm going to run. That's all I know how to do. Run.

I ran away when I lost Ellie. My mother was too drunk to help me find her, and I can't remember where my dad was.
Shortly after, I ran away when my dad died. I tried to find him, because I didn't understand that he wasn't coming home.
I ran from the boogeyman. As he stomped through the house calling my name as if it were a sadistic game to him.
And I ran away anytime my mother insulted me, or Trey, or my friends, or my lifestyle choices.
And I ran away from my hometown last week. I haven't figured out why exactly, but running seemed like the right thing at the moment.

"Kali? Did you hear me, baby? I can help you unpack if you'd like to start?" She asks again pulling me from that dark place.

"No thank you, Trish. Umm actually is there a goodwill around here?" I turn to her awaiting an answer.

A smile creeps across her face when she realizes what I'd like to do.

"There isn't a goodwill near, but there is a church near the university that accepts donations. It's only a five minute drive down Harbor." She points.

I finish up the dishes and dry my hands.

"Can I borrow the car?" I scream from the window toward Trish, who is lying in the grass like a starfish, while the boys line rocks along her arms.

"Go ahead!!!" She screams back without looking.

I start with the big boxes. Old blankets, pillows, teddy bears from Trey. China given to me by my mother before she changed.
I load everything into the back of of the SUV, and start back up with pathway for the last couple boxes and my wallet.

"You go, glen coco!" Trish screams from underneath a dog pile of boys lying on her back.

I laugh and shake my head, secretly thanking her for it.