College Boy [h.s]

Thirty One.

The following Sunday, Harry and I sat in the pews of a church he had found as we listened to the pastors sermon.

"Forgiveness can be difficult. In our day-to-day people will do or say things that offend us, rather than hold a grudge – the Bible teaches us to forgive them. Having an unforgiving heart leads to bitterness, and a heart that is bitter can not love as it ought to love..." the pastor begins.

I glance over at Harry who is listening intently with an indiscernible look.

I grab his hand gently, holding it in my own as we sit and listen to the sermon.

He looks over at me and flashes a small smile before we continue to listen.

Oddly enough, I felt a strange sense of peace as we listened to the words. Almost as if a higher power was standing above and telling me everything would be alright. I think I saw the reason why someone would come here every week. It was nice.

After the sermon was over, the two of us were practically bombarded with cheerful and friendly greetings from friendly church goers asking questions and whatnot.

"Are you married?"

"Do you have any kids?"

"Are you new in town?"

"Do you plan on coming back next week?"

They were all very nice people, don't get me wrong, but I wasn't a very fantastic people-person, so Harry was the one doing most of the talking.

"No, we aren't married."

"No, no kids."

"We aren't new to town, I just switched churches."

"I think we'll be coming back."

"Well that was something else," I said, once the questioning was over and we were out in his car in the parking lot.

"Yeah, church people like to ask a lot of questions," he says with a small laugh. "They mean well, though."

"Yeah, they were all really nice," I agree.

"Wanna grab some lunch?" He asks.

"That would be great."

                           ————

As we sat in a restaurant, having just ordered our food, we begin to talk about the sermon.

"It was actually really nice," I admit, taking a sip of my water.

"I agree, I've missed going every week. I like Pastor John too, he's very well spoken. I think I'll keep going there."

"That's good," I nod.

"You don't have to come with me or anything," he adds.

I shrug, "I actually kinda want to."

"Really?" He asks. "You don't have to Teagan, I'm fine going on my own."

"No I want to. It was nice, I'm serious. Something about it was really peaceful. I feel relaxed," I admit.

"I'm glad you liked it," he says genuinely, squeezing my hand gently across the table.

Just as he does that, our food arrives and we begin to eat and talk again.

"Y'know, what he was saying today about forgiveness and that," Harry says nervously.

"Yeah?"

"It just- I don't know, I guess it really hit me."

"About—?" I ask. "You don't mean about me and what happened with us, right?"

"Oh, no, no. I mean with Sarah and everything," he says and I feel a little relieved he wasn't harboring some secret bad feelings towards me for breaking up with him all those years ago.

"I think anyone would, Harry," I reason.

"I don't want to though. Like he said, you only have so much room in your heart and if it's all bitterness and un forgiveness then I won't have room for the stuff that really matters."

I gulp as he continues talking, his eyes staring straight into mine."

"I really want that room," he admits.

I bite the inside of my lip nervously, "for?"

"I think you know," he states, and I turn away and look at my plate because the conversation was just too intense.

"What do you want to do about that? With Sarah?" I ask.

"I don't know, I guess I have to talk to her. Try and get some sort of closure."

"That makes sense," I agree with a nod.

He gives me a small smile before turning back to his food and we both eat for a bit.

After finishing up the meal, we go back to his car and he begins the drive back to my apartment.

Just as I like to do, I lay my hand on his thigh as he drives. I begin to move it up and down gently for a while before he speaks up.

"Why are you doing this to me?" He asks with a small chuckle.

"Doing what?" I ask innocently.

"Never mind," he says, turning his attention back to driving.

I stop the action and remove my hand.

"I didn't say I don't like it," he mutters, but I don't put it back just yet.

"I wouldn't want to distract you from your driving," I say with a smirk.

He doesn't say anything back, continuing to drive until we reach my apartment complex and he pulls in to park.

He nearly gets out of the car, when I grab his arm, telling him not to.

He looks over at me and our eyes meet. Suddenly I'm reminded of the first kiss we ever shared all those years ago...

"Sh," I mumble, gripping his arm tighter before settling on a janitors closet, I open the door swiftly and all but throw myself and him inside.

"Don't talk," I warn and Harry nods his head quickly, for once understanding that he shouldn't be speaking.

"Just- let me," I coax, pushing his back gently against the wall, I brush my lips onto his delicately before releasing and looking into his eyes.

And just like I had on that day three years ago, I lean in, pressing my lips gently to his.