BBS x Reader Oneshots!

34) [Kryoz] Wanna play a game? Cont.

I hadn't seen or talked to John in months. Or any of the boys for that fact.

I went radio silent. I couldn't stand the idea of letting any of them down, or for them to see how shattered I was. The idea of being a disappointment ate me like a live fire. I couldn't stand the idea of facing rejection, so I made myself be rejected.

Who would have wanted to talk to me anyways? I destroyed my friendship with John, and with them knowing him longer, I would have been booted from the friend group first. I caused the conflict. I've seen it happen before.

I was a coward.

In my self destructive state, I stopped uploading on all of my social medias, basically went MIA on Youtube after 3 continuous years of an almost perfect upload schedule, and moved back in with my mom and dad with the agreement of finishing my business major.

That night I had snuck in to get my stuff and I vanished. I turned my phone off and got a new one. The old me was as good as dead. The only news of the old me was that she vanished. Cutting myself from social media allowed me to avoid the repercussions of facing that fact, though. The old me wasn't good enough for her friend's so she was extinguished.

I was honestly a shell of who I used to be. I don't blame him. It was my fault after all. I came up with the game so it's no surprise I was the one who got burned in the end.

I entered a dark mindset. My emotions followed me like a cloud of sorrow, turning me into a depressed skinsuit of anxiety. I could barely function. It was my darkest days.

It was also like I forgot how to talk and communicate. Anything that had been funny before was burned away. It made me think of him.

In that time, I picked up new hobbies. Sure, cracking jokes and playing games used to be my sanction, but now I started to draw and play music. It soothed some of the giant black void in my heart.

Slowly, my cloud began to clear up, time passed, and I went back to living. Well, for the most part. I finished college with a business and art degree and found a single apartment to move into. Hell, I was even able to sign my name as a general art manager for a game that blew up in the industry. I wasn't happy, but I was no longer a skeleton of sadness.

Today I was walking around town, trying to find some art supplies. Specifically I was on the hunt for a new drawing pen for my art tablet.

~.~.~.~

John Pov.

Smiity and I were in North Carolina visiting some friends.

He was just trying to distract me, I know. I was sad, upset, and everyone could tell.

My house was so empty without her. I left all her stuff, hoping she'd return. She never did.

I've called a million times, left even more messages. All of us had.

It was like that night she died.

I only knew she was alive because when I called her parents, they shouted, yelled, and cursed me to my grave. I wasn't allowed anywhere near her.

Kelly saw her leave. I was the last to speak with her.

I had really fucked up this time.

Shaking brought me out of my reverie, and I looked to Smit as he dragged me to a shopping mall. "Dude, let's find a new game, brother."

"Hell yeah brother".

He stopped in a store, looking at the back of a game. I just kind of stood by him, my eyes glazing. His face dropped. "What's up, found something?"