Sincerely, Leah

6

I'm smiling like an idiot. She's really gonna do it, and I'm going to too. This won't be my first time coming out, technically, but it'll be the first time I do it intentionally. The last time, I said it while I broke down as an 11 year old. Now, I'm 17, and doing it properly this time.

I put my phone away, turn off the light and head to sleep.

• • • • • •

I always make my mother breakfast in bed when I'm in a good mood, and right now, I'm the happiest I've been in a while. Its now Friday, so I'm planning to invite Abby over for a sleepover to tell her. We've never been alone together for a night. Simon's always been there.

I head downstairs to make the food. I put it on a tray and I bring it up the stairs. I open the door, knowing she'll be asleep at this hour.

But she isn't asleep.

And she isn't alone.

There's a man in bed with my mom.

I drop the tray.

"Oh my God.", I say.

They wake up and look at me startled. I can't believe this.

"Leah....", my mother begins, but I'm already running out of the room.

I sit on my bed and pull out my phone. I realise I never pressed send on the reply to April's email last night, so I send that and just as I do so, my mother comes in with her dressing gown on. I perch myself higher up on the pillows.

"Leah....", she begins.

"Why didn't you tell me you're sleeping with someone?", I say, hugging my knees.

"Because... I don't know. I know you have a lot going on that you don't talk about so I didn't want to bother you."

I scoff.

"Bullshit. I don't have anything going on. All I want is the house to myself tonight. I'm having a sleepover with my friend and I'm coming out to her so please don't have him here."

Jesus. I'm such a selfish bitch.

My mother sighs.

"Fine. If you want, I'll stay with Wells tonight. Give you and your friend some space."

"That's all? You're not going to yell at me?"

"No. I'm not. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Good luck with telling your friend."

And she's gone.

I sigh and fall back down onto the bed.

• • • • • •

I've just dropped Nick and Simon home. Abby agreed to the sleepover with me, her reaction being, "Oh my God, of course, Leah! I'll pick up my bag later!". And we're on our way to pick it up now.

There's a silence. Only the sound of The 1975 is heard. Then, Abby speaks.

"Are you OK?", she asks, "And don't tell me that I ask that every day. You're off form today."

I sigh.

"I found out this morning that my mom is sleeping with some man and she didn't tell me. Its been bothering me. That's all.", I say, lying at the last part.

"Are you sure that's all?", she asks.

I bite my lip. Then, I notice we're at her house. I pull over.

"Yeah. That's all."

Abby bites her lip. Then she turns to the door.

"I'll just get my stuff."

I nod my head.

• • • • • •

We're back at my place, and I feel as though I'm going to shit myself. I'm sure I'm ready though.

We're laying on my bed, listening to The 1975. Medicine is playing, and its messing with my emotions. I decide that I'm going to say it now.

I sit up.

"Abby?", I say nervously.

"Yes.", she replies.

Then, I say it.

"I'm bisexual."

Abby smiles at me and then hugs me.

"Thanks for telling me that, Lee.", she says to me. I smile softly.

"Just please don't tell anyone. Literally only you and my mom knows.", I say.

"I promise. Well, thanks for telling me. I'm your best friend and I love you.", she says.

I smile.

"Love ya too, Suso."

We lay back onto the bed and continue listening to the music.