Sincerely, Leah

2

Ding

I almost fall out of the bed as I reach over to grab my phone and check my notification. It turns out to only be the verification email.

I sigh.

"Nada.", I say to myself.

I really want to talk to this girl. There's a few lesbian and bisexual girls out at Creekwood High, but I feel like I connect to this girl. Her words feel relatable. I also relate to the closeted part. I'm not exactly closeted, but I'm not exactly hooking up with every girl in the place either.

I get ready for school and I head downstairs and meet my mother. She's 34. I'm 17. Do the math.

"Morning, Leah.", she greets, as I sit down for a slice of toast.

"Morning, mom."

I look at my mug, and I notice there's a small card up against it. I take it in my hand. It has a number on it.

"What's this?", I ask.

My mother sighs.

"Leah, I know you've been thinking about him again. I'm worried you may have depression."

I feel anger swell up in me. She may as well have told me she thinks I'm fat.

"Why the fuck would I be depressed?", I say, raising my voice. I rip the card in two.

"I'm just worried about y-"

"I need to go to school."

I get up from my seat and push in the chair. I grab my bag and I head for the door.

"Leah!"

I'm already gone. I throw my bag under my car seat and I sit in angrily. I don't know why I'm so pissed off right now. The woman was only trying to help but I was being a bitch. As per fucking usual.

I drive to pick up Abby first. When she hops into the car, there's silence first, then she starts talking.

"How're you keeping?", she asks.

I roll my eyes. The whole father thing was a week ago, but she's been asking me how I am every single day. Its kind of cute, but also kind of annoying.

"I'm good. You?", I reply.

"Great."

She continues tapping something into her phone. She's looking unusually distressed. I have a feeling her dad's annoying her again. One night while we FaceTimed, she told me he spent an hour sending her degrading texts.

I don't know why anyone would do that. No homo or anything, but Abby Suso is the type of girl you just can't hate. She's too beautiful. That means nothing.

We drive in silence as I never know what to say in these situations. I pick up Nick and Simon, who live practically next door. Our hangouts in Nick's basement are proof that you don't need pot to have fun in a basement. We play video games and watch Doctor Who, one of Gods greatest creations. I'm still crushing hard on Amy Pond.

We order our iced coffees and we talk all the way to school. When the conversation turns to dating, Simon looks strangely out of it. Its weird considering the amount of girlfriends he's had.

I feel strange as well. I don't know if it's because I've never even kissed anyone or because nobody else in this car has the same secret I do.

My mind goes back to April. Damn, I wish she'd respond.

• • • • • •

I'm seated in the car again. I'm out before Abby, Simon and Nick because Abby and Simon are in auditions for the play and Nick is trying out for the sports team. So I'm just sitting here, listening to music, when I hear a ding.