Lumine X Kody

Ch. 9 - Kody's Journal

(For clearance, these are the entries of a diary Kody had been keeping; the rest is continuing Lumine's point of view)

Day 1
Dad gave me this journal, it was one of the many office supplies he never uses and he insisted in me doing something with it... so here I am, for lack of boredom, writing... something I guess.
There's not much to say; Lumine had been the same as usual, we played some video games together for a while before he had to go and train a bit. Yeahh- its a long story on how he started training. It's mainly cause of his extreme fixation pf protecting me and blah blah. While me? I kinda quit magic, I'm still into potions though... which is very fun. I still remember that time when Lumine stupidly drank one just to impress me or something... that idiot.
He's kinda cute though... but not in that way. We're friends for now, although I wonder if- Nope. That's too much for a first entry. See ya whenever I get to write again.

Day 2
So uh, writing this is actually fun, I just have some free time so... welp. I didn't do much today, school had been annoying as always; although wolfy always brightens up everything. He's like the sun- and when I stare at him too long he gets blinding. Besides, he burns me up if I get too close.
I'm just joking, although I don't see the reason behind that since I'm writing to myself... oh well. Don't judge me book, let me be. Oops, calling me, bye.

Day 15
Is it wrong to like a guy? Like- is it wrong to have interests for a boy instead of a girl? Actually, I'm not into dating or anything... but I've been just wondering- Ugh who am I even lying to. I like him, it's been 3 years now and everything he does is just- how can he be so beautiful? Idiot, idiot, idiot! There's no way it's the same. We're brothers. We're friends. Whatever.

Day 32
I honestly am slowly giving up in writing this. There's not much I can say.... and every time I try to formulate a phrase, Lumine's face pops up in my mind. Why him? Why does he keep appearing? I think of him all day- all the time. After our little- incident, I haven't been able to keep calm near him. He's always so caring, so sweet, so kind... I'm really afraid that he takes these actions under the friendship category. But I want more. I'm not okay with only being a close friend- I wish to be able to pet his head more. He's so soft to the touch.... but the only time I can do that naturally is when he's a pup. Yet, it still seems he's very embarrassed about it. Why? Is it weird for a guy to want to caress another guy? Hell, I don't care about outside opinions... but I don't know if what I'm doing is right or not. Well, it's all up to the future to decide... maybe, someday, I'll know.

Day 45
So... we got together. I can't believe it. I'm dreaming. I'm totally dreaming. It was so good to touch him- to kiss him- his skin is sweet as honey and he's so so soft... He likes it when I start scratching behind his ears, he's a total dork. But I love him. And he loves me too. It's not wrong, right? It's not that strange- once I saw on tv two men kissing. I'm not naive, I know there are others who like men- but is it really okay to do so? Is it okay for ME to do so? I don't care, right now I'm way too happy to ever be worried about that. I'm going to prepare for bed now, I hope he doesn't mind a goodnight kiss.

Day 51
I'm absolutely the worst- this is horrible- I'm doing it all wrong!!! Lumine deserves better than me- I can't believe I've been so pushy with him. Especially with him. I've gotten carried away- I thought that's what people did in relationships but I think he's not okay with that type of stuff. I'm too selfish, too stupid. Or what if- what if he's changing his mind? What if this is not okay? What if it's not normal? I feel like I'm different- I feel vulnerable. I just want to hide it- I want to hide him. Why can't this just be- invisible to the world? I think people are staring at us more often. This is not good...

Day 52
Today I kissed Lily.
I realized a lot of things, which are:
I realized I don't like girls. I realized that- it feels wrong. I realized that I only love Lumine and that- that I can't possibly do such an egotistical stupid thing such as kiss someone just for the experience.
I saw Lumine and I realized I f*cked up real bad. I'm an absolute idiot. I'm horrible. I'm a f*cking sh*thead I'm just-
I just wanted to know how it was, how it felt.
Lily confessed to me, saying that she liked me and when she got closer... I couldn't help but kiss her. It just came to me.
I'm an idiot. I don't like her. I just... wanted to know how it was.
Everything happened so quickly, I wasn't thinking straight. I've gotten too cocky, so overly confident... don't you remember that you are the same kid that would get bullied all the time?!
How am I supposed to explain this? Is there any way I could ever do that? Is there a way to get out of this? I can't do this- I just can't. This once I f*cked up real bad. I can't believe I did that... No, no, no-
I can't go back home, I can't face Lumine yet. I have nowhere to go, is there any place I could hide? He's sleeping right now, But I just wanted to write all of this down... I feel horrible, just- horrible. Whoever will find this, I hope they'll keep it a secret. And if it's you Lumine... I'm really sorry.

The book fell from his hands; Aiden's hands. My eyes kept still on him as I did not know what he had just read. His face, for instance, looked... so serious and somewhat confused. He was not the cheery and overly confident Aiden I always knew anymore. I stood there, completely unaware of what was going on, fully oblivious to what the adult had just uncovered. Kody's secret. Our secret. I did not expect Kody to write such things, of course not. I had no idea he kept a diary in the first place! Just- how many things did he keep from me, exactly? But at the time I did not know, so I was just waiting impatiently, fidgeting with the hem of my shirt until the book hitting the ground caught my attention.

Today I had been woken up by Aiden, who rushed in my room to ask where Kody was. In fact, he was not there, not sleeping beside me, not hiding anywhere in the house. Panic came to me, like an uncontrollable sensation of total loss. I started to feel lightheaded, filled with worry and anxiety. I knew that a lot had happened the previous day but- there was no way he had just ran away right? But- But what if he had just been kidnapped?!
I hurried over to Aiden, but in doing so, I tripped over a box placed beside my bed. I never saw that box ever before in my life...so we looked into it together. Of course we wondered if it came from Kody... and we were right.
In the box, we found this strange book. Aiden recognized it immediately, which is the main and primary reason he started flipping through it and reading it. But seeing from his shocking behavior, it must have contained some unique information that I did not find out until later on. I could not possibly know, that Kody had left the box there, with the intent of hoping that I'd read it.

But soon enough, the adult managed to compose himself and cleared his throat, before starting to speak. Slow and sternly.
"I'm really sorry Lumine, there's nothing useful here... I'll go and talk to the police. Try to trace him down in the meanwhile. Alright?"
I hurriedly nodded my head; I wished he would let me see what he had read though... but there was really no time to waste. If things were really bad... well, I would have only regretted it later. So I just did as he told. I followed my nose, my wolf abilities being extremely useful in situations like these when trying to pick up Kody's scent.
A strange detail I noticed when I first stepped out of the front door, was that his scent was far stronger than I could have expected. It meant that he had been there not too long ago. Where in the world could he be? I began running, if Kody was nearby I would not let him escape me... and the scent led me through a forest; arriving at the school. There weren't any classes that day, so by trying to pick up Kody's unique smell, I took a strange turn; starting to head through an alley and then-

And then nothing.

My mind went blank and my last memory was a strange figure standing right behind me.

Kody.

A/N - (will delete when the next chapter will be out)
Hello everyone! This is the author speaking and I decided to update you all on what has been happening.
I'm very very thankful for all the love and support I've been receiving! Now that I'm starting to plan out my schedule, I hope I'll be able to finish the book ASAP. Another thing, is that I will soon update all chapters except the new one so that all my grammar mistakes and typos are fixed for new readers. I'm very very thankful for how much attention this fanfic has gotten! Thank you all for embarking on this journey with me!
Last but not least, editors and reviewers are no longer needed, but if you still want to apply, message me on Discord @Mewriter030#4810 . You can also talk to me through that and ask any questions related to the fanfic.
I'll be ecstatic to be able to communicate more with my readers!
One last thing, is that I'll work in removing some parts of the story and editing some others.
So the story as you know it, might change. Anyhow, I hope you will be pleased nevertheless.
Thank you for following me through this journey, and stay hooked on what's next!
From yours dearly,
Mewriter030