Shawn Mendes Imagines

Aggressive Shawn Part 2

Shawn's Point Of View:
I run my hands through my hair angrily.

"I'm a f*****g monster," I growl, leaning my forehead against the wall.

I hurt Y/N. I f*****g hurt her and now she hates me, she's going to leave me and never come back. I start to walk upstairs, but Y/N is nowhere to be found. That is, until I see the bathroom door closed. I knock on the door.

"Y/N, please open up. I'm so f*****g sorry hun. I need to tell you exactly why that happened, and even though it's no excuse for what I did, I want to make sure you know what's wrong with me," I apologize, truly meaning every word.

She doesn't answer, but she opens the door instead. Tears fill my eyes when I see how much I've hurt her- swollen eyes, black circles forming behind one. She's clenching her side with her fingers, and I immediately pull her into a hug.

"I'm so, so, so, f*****g sorry sweetheart. Oh my god, I'm such a s****y boyfriend."

She pulls away minutes later, and she looks tired. She's upset with me, but I think she wants to hear what I have to say. I continue.

"Look, I have this... drinking problem. I get so stressed to the point where I just drink and drink and drink. Obviously it's to be expected to get drunk, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything. Accusing you for cheating, pushing you up against the wall, hitting you, yelling at you. God, I know how f*****g much you hate being yelled at. I know that saying I was drunk doesn't make up for what I did, and neither does saying sorry. I know that being drunk doesn't make you do things, it only plays with your mind and you do things you've thought of doing before. I've never thought about hitting you, darling, and I've never wanted anything more than to be the one person in your life who wouldn't abuse you in any way.  I have seriously failed that though, I just want you to know that I'm so sorry and I love you so much."

She looks at me, clearly shocked at what I've just said. She steps closer to me, and lightly kisses my lips.

"I love you too Shawn, but I can't just give in to you that easily. You hit me, and I accept your apology. For everything, I really do. I just need a few weeks, maybe even months to get over this. I love you so much, but I've been abused in a way, and I need to heal physically, mentally, and emotionally," she replies, rubbing her arm nervously, obviously worried about how I'm going to react.

I nod, relieved. She doesn't hate my guts, she's not leaving me, she's going to forgive me.

"The only problem we have is what we're going to do about drunk Shawn," she sighs.

I stare at the floor in shame.

"Shawn, you can't drink excessively like that. It's going to kill you," she says softly, almost in a whisper. "I can't lose you. Yes, I'm upset that you hurt me. But you're hurting yourself, Shawn, and that's not good at all. I care about you so much, I can't lose the wonderful, considerate, happy, humorous Shawn. Don't you see what drinking does to you? It eats you up, gnawing at your bones, swiping everything good and pure about your soul and mind away. In its place, it leaves hatred, anger, dishonesty, and disloyalty. Shawn, you need to stop. I'm so happy I was able to stop you before you injured me more or injured yourself. I saw your eyes, Shawn. They weren't the normal soft hazel- they were dark, icy, and full of hate. You were angry with me, and you've never been angry with me. Don't you see? Alcohol makes you hate the ones you love most."

"I..." I trail off.

"Promise me you'll see someone and get rid of that horrible, sickening, liquid."

I look down at my feet, once again, tears filling my eyes.

"You've always said don't make promises you can't keep."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi lovelies! Sorry this update was delayed, we lost power from the strong winds. I was supposed to have this up last night, but our internet went along with the electricity, as expected to happen. Anyway, I'm rambling but I hope you enjoyed!
XO,
Mackenzie