A Bell Of Juxtaposition

Chapter 3

Chapter Three

We stayed like that for about two hours, the best two hours I have experienced in a long while. I wake to the movement of Gerard as he realizes we are being watched by Matt. He sits by the torture table but has pulled the box out so he can turn to watch us. He and Gerard's eyes lock but he doesn't let go of me, in fact his grip tightens. A stare down is in the process. After a few seconds, Gerard looks away; he knows Matt is in charge.

I would have thought that Matt would rip us apart and throw both of us at the wall but no...he is giving us some comfort in this room that hasn't got much to hand out.

Bob has gone but the new face takes his place. Maybe he stopped Matt form ripping us apart? Who knows, Matt's brain could just have some kindness in it, somewhere.

I try to forget about Matt and his cold steely stare that reminds of the torture table. I bury my face into Gerard's shoulder and inhale the intoxicating scent. Gerard rests his chin on my head and smoothes his arms around me to hold me closer. We both need the comfort of each other's warmth and aliveness. It keeps us from falling off the cliff of sanity. I want to stay like this forever, pretending like nothing has ever happened but soon I'll have to open my eyes and everything around me will crash into my eyes and into my frail brain. But just for now, I'll close my eyes and inhale and exhale.

We manage to stay like this until the new face announces that it is 1 pm and that lunch is served. I open my eyes to find real food of all different colours laid out on the torture table. 'Hey, you two! This is for all of us to enjoy and let's see if Vicky can keep it down.' The new face calls over to us. I lift myself up but fail miserably. Gerard is up and pulling me up and then he looks down at my left leg and sees that I can't put any weight on it. The next thing I know, he has picked me up and is carrying me carefully across the room. He is gentle, nothing like Matt and Bob who drag and throw me like a rag doll but Gerard lowers me down on to a box and strokes my cheek as he lets go. He pulls up a box next to me so that he is in-between me and Matt. He is my protector.

I look down at the food and my eyes widen at the sight of CHOCOLATE CAKE! The mother of ALL food is right before me and I don't think I can resist. Wait, hang on, Vicky. Why such fancy food? Last meal? Death on the horizon?! They are giving me a far well party! Great! Well, I might as well go out in style so I look up and across to the new face for permission to start. He smiles at my eyes that beg and nods. I dive for the cake and take the biggest slice. I have to tell myself to SLOW down as you won't enjoy it as much if it decides to say hello to the world again. Chew slowly but surely. This cake is good! I forgot how much I loved cake, well I have forgot a lot recently. But a memory that involved cake comes flooding back to my mind in one tsunami wave and sets the bell ringing as it ploughed into it.

It's my fifth birthday. Best friend Maddie is over for little a celebration. Your cousin is also over; he's only 1 and half that means he's still cute! Just wait until he grows up, he's annoying as HELL! I am wearing my Barbie Swan Lake dress and Maddie is wearing a Hawaiian Barbie dress, fancy. We sit around the table that still lives in my house today. It is styled to look like oak but the truth is that it is fake. No wood was used in the process of making this table. In our Barbie doll bowls (by the way, if you haven't noticed, I was obsessed with Barbie) you have cake. Not just your average cake that includes some jam and cream. Oh no, it was chocolate cake! Your first real experience of chocolate in this beautiful form. To be honest, I am seriously surprised how I was not fat when I was younger. But now I know the solution to fatness, go on a diet of eating or drinking practically nothing for however long. I mean, it's painful as fuck but you get great results! Some say too skinny, I say not skinny enough.

As I devour the slice of cake, this memory plays in my mind like a movie but it feels like it's not my memory anymore. I was so young and now I'm so much older, 10 years in fact, and look at me! A little girl with a Barbie dress on doesn't end up the way I did. That's just not fair. However, this world is not fair. No one plays fair, it doesn't exist anymore so get over it and take the pills.

I have had only one slice of cake, and I'm done. Full to the brim. My stomach is churning and trying hard to keep the cake down but it doesn't want it. It's just a brown mess to my stomach, not a dream of before.

I sit back and look up at the men around me. They all eat. New face and Matt have normal appetites as they haven't been starved and kept inside forever. Gerard drinks coffee from an old chipped mug but he doesn't care, he cares about the coffee that floods through his body. He shivers as the caffeine spreads over his mind and settles into his body. New energy is released. 'Ah...now that is some good coffee,' he says to himself but Matt answers, 'Well, I knew it was your favourite. I mean, you tweeted enough about it when you had access to twitter.' This seems almost friendly but the 'when you had access to twitter' had an edge to it as if to remind him that his life is hanging in Matt's hands.

We finish. Well, by finish I mean we barely ate anything but we are full and might hurl but we finish. Gerard gets up with new energy that courses through his mind and body. He looks over to me and nods. I turn myself around so all of me can face him. I want to walk but that is out of the question. Gerard goes to pick me up but I say gently, 'No, no. I wanna walk. Can you hold me up?'

'Sure, sweetie but go easy. That leg is busted up so no walking will be involved. It will be hopping.' He confirms. He crouches down a little so I can place my arm across his shoulders and hop back to our floor. I let go of Gerard and slump against the wall and slide myself down. I'm out of breath and the cake is threatening to make an appearance again but I made it. I look over to the torture table and see Matt and new face look at me and applaud sarcastically. Hey, only I can do sarcastic!

I then proceed to allowing my eyes to skim over to Gerard who is sitting himself down next to me. He slumps down just like I did but more grace is involved. That is what happens when you don't have a broken arm and leg. 'Okay, time to rest huney. That was some effort. I know it's not much but in the state you're in, that was pretty awesome.' He compliments me. I blush and smile awkwardly. How could this kind, caring and loving man be the reason? He must have a pretty good excuse. Or maybe it's all an act so I give forgiveness. Well, either way is fine. He is doing very well at protecting me and keeping me strong. I have a love for this freaking guy! He has a place in my heart for now and forever. I lean my head on his bony shoulder and just feel his inhales and exhales.

Matt leaves. Something has come up and it needs his attention so new face is left in charge. It's been two hours since I ate cake and Gerard drank coffee. Within that time we have just sat and listened to each other and what Matt and new face have had to say about the day, nothing much.

Matt leaves with the slamming of the door. New face just sits there looking at us. Trying to work us out. He must be thinking how can she sit there with the man who got her here? Well, I can't answer that question because I don't know. I probably just really want some comfort and Gerard is giving that to me and I am giving that to him.

New face gets up and walks around the torture table, thinking or anxious or both. Gerard lifts my head up slightly and brings his mouth close to my ear. I feel his breathes against my left ear. Warm. 'It's nearly go time. As soon as the door blows open-'he stops whispering and looks up at new face. He is still lost in his mind. '-I am going to swoop you up and run for the door. They'll be there, waiting outside in the van.' He pulls back and sits in a way that makes it easy for him to grab and go.

Wow, is he serious? I look up at his face for any evidence of any emotion but a poker face is stiff on his face. But his eyes give off desperation and desire. It's going to happen. I don't really know what but I'll find out soon enough. Freedom hangs in the balance.