A Bell Of Juxtaposition

Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty-four

'We need to get rid-,' cut off by the rawness of Frank's statement.

'Yes.' Mikey replies with his old found seriousness and craving for a cigarette to be between his lips. Just to inhale that toxic silk will just ease the situation.

Gerard has found his old deepening stare that burns through anything it reaches and the yearn to forget everything for just one night returns after too many years. The lips of the bottle fit perfectly so why decline the perfect kiss?

Frank finds himself picking violently at his ripped jeans with gnawed bloody fingernails. He too finds the kiss from bottled death alluring.

Ray has picked up a stick and consistently digs at the damp ground. He wants his guitar in his rough hands and a pick between his fingers. He wants the strumming to take the pain away again.

As disturbing as the scene of men that morosely glare is, there is something that stands out as more than disturbing, it is more than unsettling. The body of the cold dead girl lies in Gerard's juxtapsition warm lap. His hands latch on to her with desperation, as if his grip will wake her from her forever sleep. Her lids have been sealed shut but the blood, now dry, still capes her face.

'How?' The stern voice of Mikey asks Frank.

'Fire,' Frank matches his stern voice with the same edge, 'it must be. We can't let wild animals get her or them. Her blood is still salvageable.' Gerard tries hard to detach himself from the words that leave Frank's mouth but the truth won't be ignored by anyone. Not anymore, not ever again.

'Right, how we gonna do it?' Mikey now softens his words as he sees Gerard's grip tighten on the girls arm and eyes clench.

'Well, we have gas spare...' Frank has to turn away from the scene and trails off as the men can work out the rest.

She'll go up in flames and they will never get their filthy hands on her again, there won't be any blood left to drain from her withering body as she turns to ashes. And she will drift on the breeze scattering herself within her silence. She will become part of it forever.

Frank leaves to get the supplies needed to have one hell of a bonfire. He leaves the odd-bod group sitting on the ground, surrounding a bloody body.

Gerard wants to see her eyes open again. Soulful or soulless, he wants to see them. He wants the deep blue to swallow him whole and engulf his grief to make it easier.

He reaches towards her lids and touches them lightly. Just as he was about to peel them open, Ray put his hand on Gerard's to stop him. 'It won't make you feel any better; it will make you feel worse.' Ray speaks softly with understanding and Gerard nods. He knows he's right, seeing her eyes that were always wide with worry, dead would crush him even more than he already feels.

Frank returns but a new air follows him. He stands taller, stiffer. A newer sterner voice flows from his mouth and tears have been wiped from his cheeks, 'Gerard, I'm sorry but it's time.' Gerard's grip tightens and eyes grow fierce as they set themselves on Frank's. He draws the body closer to his chest, to protect her further, smudging her blood deeper into his shirt and skin.

Before Frank's harsh voice begins again, Mikey cuts in, 'Gerard, please. We need to do this. We can't leave her like this and we can't take her like this,' he crawls over to him and places his hand on his shoulder, 'you need to listen to us; this is for the best. She can become part of this place.' Gerard's shoulders fall and his grip loosens; he has been well and truly defeated.

He now stands, with her reddened frail body in his arms and carries her to the place Frank and Ray have placed the blankets. He leans down and lies her down, surrounding her in his scent filled blanket. Before he stands again, he strokes a lose strand of crusted hair away from her cheek.

Frank pours the gas over her body, heartlessly.

They all stand round her, trying not to look at her but not being able to help it. Even caped in blood she is uniquely beautiful; each concave on her face is shadowed by the light that squeezes itself through the trees. With her eyes closed, you can pretend she sleeps with no nightmares, if you can block out the blood scattering on her pale greying skin and the gaping black hole that burrows itself through her head.

A box of matches appears from Frank's back pocket. He strikes one and throws it to her body. Flames dance across her but not enough. Frank strikes and throws four more before a real blaze has been lit.

This is the moment Frank finally learnt to grow up.

They watch with wide eyes that reflect the flames and the pain they feel within their hearts. The girl that brought them together again is falling apart before their very eyes.

Gerard turns away; he can't take anymore as the repulsive smell of burning flesh reaches his nose. He walks quickly to the log that lies far back from the blaze and sits down heavily, deflated. The others join him with leaking eyes and stifled cries.

He then remembers the last scrap he has left of her; the letter. He stuffed it into his pocket before he ran for her. He now retrieves it and holds it out to Mikey. He takes it and opens it out. He sees his name and her scrawled hand writing, rushed by the urge to fit the gun in her perfect palm and to bury a perfect hole in her head to let the memories drain out on to the floor.

Gerard talks for the first time properly since the shot rang out, 'She loved us, loves us. She thought she had no choice but to do this. Frank,' he turns to Frank with pleading eyes, 'she remembered it, the knife and her father. I should have listened to you! My selfish thoughts ended up in her death. I can't ever forgive myself...' he trails off back into his vacant stare and silence. Frank doesn't say a word; he just stares at the piece of paper that lies in Mikey's shaking hands as his eyes skim over it. Frank knows he was right but he doesn't want to be. It's not as satisfying when the outcome is the death of someone you love, loved.

Silence fills them except for the dwindling crackle of the flame that sits far behind them. She is part of the woods now as the breeze picks up and carries her away. Gerard wants to chase after then with hands that slip through the ashes, just to catch her once more but restrains; she can be with their desired silence now.

Heavy footsteps fall to the ground and come crashing through the woods. Men caped in black from head to toe except for one man; his face is on show and he carries a revengeful, bone chilling smile that beams to each man that sits on the log.

What happens now is up to whoever holds the question of where is she?

The fate is sealed for whoever answers that question.

Silence isn't just restricted to the hopeless bells; it's for the bell ringers too.