Everything's Changed

49

It had been months since Lexa's parents deaths and since then, she has leaned on Clarke for emotional support. And Clarke was there. They both had lost a parent and it was relatable. But Lexa had a different way in coping. She was pushing Clarke away as well as leaning onto her.

Raven had gotten a permanent cast for her leg and she absolutely hated it. Octavia had slipped and said that Raven was a burden to her so Raven broke it off, and Octavia moved in with Echo and Harper for the remaining of the year.

Raven and Clarke had become best friends since they were both going through hard times with relationships. They had agreed on moving in together after they graduated because why not?

Graduation was a day away and everyone was ready to just move on into a new chapter of their life. Lexa wasn't exactly happy with moving from Arkadia because of having no one to know. But was it for the best.

Lexa stood at her parent's graves and just stood there, a single tear rolling down her cheek. How could she have been so stupid, naïve, and impulsive? And every time she looked at Clarke, it reminded her of her parent's sacrifice. It was hard to look at Clarke. She pushed her away but she just came back and Lexa, deep down, appreciated it.

"Hey dad, graduation is in a few months and I talked to Robert, he said that we'd evaluate my skills at the first table read and I'm pretty confident I'll do fine." Lexa sniffled. "He sounded like a nice guy."

Lexa talked to the grave and then eventually sat down on the fluffy grass. She sat there for hours, telling the grave things she'd never been able to tell her parents. It somewhat helped but not very much. And when it started to rain, which was unusual, Clarke was there. She was holding an umbrella above both of them. Lexa gave Clarke a weak smile.

"Would you like to get in the car now?" Clarke asked softly.

Lexa nodded and got up. They walked to the SUV and got in. Somehow, talking to the grave was helpful because looking at Clarke wasn't as painful as before.

"Have you talked to Marcus about Troye yet?" Lexa asked.

"No, his corpse is still in a freezer." Clarke said. "I was going to call him in a minute."

Lexa nodded and sighed. She looked out of the window and into the rain. It was pouring pretty hard and it was a soothing sound. She heard the clicking from Clarke's phone since she was dialing Abby.

"Hey mom, is Marcus there?" Clarke asked.

"Yes, let me get him." Abby said and then there some muffled sounds as Abby handed the phone to Marcus.

"Hey Clarke, everything okay?"

"Yeah, kind of. Lexa's parents passed and, uhm." Clarke paused for a second to take a breath. She was tensing up at this point. "Troye, he uh, was killed by Lexa."

There was long silence and then she heard muffled crying. "Tell me how and why?"

"Cage took me captive, I'm fine now. I think the documents have been sent to you. But Lexa saved me and Troye and Costia slit her parent's throats after she shot them. Cage is dead though." Clarke explained.

"Thank you." Marcus whispered.

Lexa knew it was time. She knew it was time to close this chapter and there was one thing holding her back. She honestly didn't want to do it. Did she really though? She needed to be let loose of all of her ties to this chapter to be able to move on. That's what she thought.

When Clarke, entered the room, Lexa stood up. Was she actually ready to do this again. She was. She inhaled quickly and kissed Clarke passionately. She pulled away and looked at the ground in guilt. One last time.

"You needed to talk?" Clarke asked.

"Uhm, yeah." Lexa frowned.

Lexa took a deep breath before she spoke. Here goes nothing. "Clarke, I uh, I can't be with you. I need to cut loose of all ties to end this chapter of my life. I promised my father I'd go into acting and to do what was best for me and my future."

Lexa sighed, Clarke was going to make this anything but easy. Clarke nodded and then she looked Lexa in the eyes. Her soft and loving eyes became so blurry and distant that they were now cold.

"Really, huh?" Clarke said, keeping her voice low. "You really think that's best for you? You really want to be one of those actors who are alone majority of their life because celebrity life is too intimidating for the significant other? Well go ahead."

"That's not-"

"Just save it." Clarke scoffed. "I was there for you when you lost you parents I wa-"

"You were the reason they died!" Lexa shouted.

"Oh, really." Clarke rolled her eyes and chuckled. "I was the reason they died? That's funny."

"I didn't actually want to save you." Lexa spat.

"Oh bullshit." Clarke shouted. "If you didn't want to save me, then why the hell did you? Because last I checked, I didn't actually care."

Lexa stayed silent and Clarke chuckled. "You don't actually have a reason, do you?"

"No, I don't and my parents wouldn't have died if I hadn't saved you."

"You and Octavia are so alike, it's disgusting!" Clarke shouted. "You dated me out of pity didn't you? Just like Octavia?"

"No, it's not like tha-"

"You can shove your excuses up your ass." Clarke said and walked to the door. "Best of luck in acting, I guess." Clarke said softly and slammed the door.

Lexa collapsed on her bed and rubbed her temples. That wasn't as bad as she imagined but she had seen a side of Clarke that she had never seen before. She didn't particularly like it and Clarke came off as such an asshole. Clarke had a point but was Lexa going to actually believe that now? No, not at all.