The Lovely Lie of "I'm Okay."

Authors Note

Hi guys. I know the few of you who've read this story know I've completely abandoned, well pretty much all my stories here on Wattpad. I just feel as though I'm not a good writer and it takes a lot for me to write.

I started this story in 2016 and just edited a part for the first time since March of 2018. I haven't wrote any chapters since then. I was a senior in high school when I started this story and am a sophomore in college now. My writing style has definitely changed. I've changed as a person and my mental state is much different than what it was when I first started. 

I don't know how often I will post. I am a full time college student and also work two jobs and am happily engaged. My life is being pulled in so many directions. So I don't really know where this is all gonna go. If you stuck around, thank you. If you're new, thank you.

I know my most read story is The Lovely Lie of "I'm Okay." but Love Next Door is probably my favorite now that I'm older. I was sixteen/ seventeen when I started on this website and was dealing with extreme depression issues and was going through such a rough patch in my life. I'm not the same person as I was. I do still have depression and anxiety issues, but have gotten help and am able to control my issues so much better than I was. I was writing before with so much sadness as you could see in TLLIO and Faded. It's tough for me to write those because I don't have the same feeling as I once did.

TLLIO will definitely stay around. It's harder for me to write this story because it's so close to what was actually happening in my life when I started this. Ella's mom passed away from ovarian cancer, my grandpa had just passed away from lymphoma cancer. I started harming myself the same way she did. I had started dating my now fiance about eight months before my grandpa passed away so he watched me go from a cheerful bright soul into just a pit of emptiness. Noah knew Ella before the life was drained out of her. He saw her get bullied and change things about herself and I had been bullied literally from first grade to my senior year. My fiance watched me go through many transformations just from my sophomore to my senior year because I'd like certain things then it'd all get torn to shreds when girls would call me names and say I looked like a freak with what I wore. Ella is me. My fiance was Noah when we were in school. 

I want this story to turn into them growing up and being able to tackle the world together even though they are practically complete strangers. That's how it was for my fiance and I. I didn't even know his name until a few days before we started dating even though we sat right next to each other for a whole semester. He was like this complete mystery that was right there the entire time that I had no clue existed. I want them to become strong characters and grow from their teen years. 

Hopefully those who started reading all those years ago will understand and hopefully those who just now started are okay with me going in another direction with all of my stories really. I hope this is for the better.

Much Love

XXX