As we finally arrived back at the dorms, I instantly ran out of the car and dashed for the front door. It opened, though already revealing a shirtless Taeyong walking down the hallway. I felt my cheeks heat up and I looked away though I continued to go into the house. Who in their right mind would walk around shirtless when they know a girl is living here with them? Lee Taeyong, that's who. He's devilishly handsome and he knows it. That's what's so wrong about it and there was nothing that I could do about it because he continues to just be like that. Each and every day.
Though what's worse to admit is that you have actually fallen in love with Lee Taeyong. Because let's be honest, who wouldn't ever not fall in love with him? Just a smile will make you swoon and blush. When he is concerned or worried, he puts on the softest voice you have ever heard. He's such a sweetheart, but he could also be an ignorant asshole. He tears me apart and somehow manages to put me back together all over again.
Each and every time.
He just amazes me all the time and I don't even know how he does it. He just does and it's annoyed me. How could a human be so perfect, without a single flaw on him? I don't know how the hell he does it but I must know his secret. I need to know his secret before I fall for him and I fall hard.
I should know that I do because it's happened over and over again. And it's hurt me more and more each time my heart has been broken. But maybe that's why I'm so scared to love him, because I don't know if he'll ever love me back. And that scares me. No, it petrifies me. Because I will never know how much his love will affect me.
It could affect me so much I don't even know if my feet are on the ground anymore or it could take me higher. But I know one thing for sure, Taeyong will never love me back. But of course, I wouldn't exactly be surprised if he didn't love me back because nobody had ever loved me back the way I loved them.
I run down the hallway and past Taeyong and into the bathroom, closing the door and locking it behind me. It was empty and the tiles were all white, I slowly sink down against the door. The floor was cold yet I barely ever noticed it against my skin. I just focused on the fact that I had no idea what to do with myself anymore.
Although, I was curious. Quite curious. Sometimes I catch him staring at me but it's probably nothing at all. He will never notice me and I'll just be another one of the girls he adds to his lists of conquests. As the usual thing goes. Nothing lasts and everything is meant to break. That's what my mother would say to me right now. Either that or to just be strong and go home.
She doesn't understand why I moved to Korea or how I even ended up here at all. She doesn't understand how I work and it's frustratingly. I ask her one questions and it's like I've asked for the world. But it seems to be like when she needs me, that's what's important. My mother never usually misses me that much but today she seemed to.
Maybe it gave her an idea to what it was like to lose me.
Maybe just even a little bit so that he could see how her ways hurt me. I finally got my shot to hurt her back at least, and I plan on doing it for a while. She doesn't exactly deserve all of my love after all she's put me through since I was little. Yet all she used to say that it was for my own good, my own good? I didn't know what her logic was, if I am honest. But my mother scared me sometimes and I rarely went against her at all unless it was vital, though it rarely ever was.
She carried me for the 9 months I was in her stomach and I am eternally grateful for that but it is not acceptable for her to go around treating me like a two-year-old that has misbehaved and broke her favourite vase. I loved her though, I truly did. My mother did always have a way of making me question that love though, and that was quite often. I didn't understand how she could always criticise me on how I looked and how I ate. It's my life and not hers and I am going to start living it how I want.
A knock came on the door. "Y/n?" It was Mark. Oh god – what do I do? I don't want him to know I ran in here because I saw Taeyong shirtless, that would make me look like a total idiot. "Yeah?" I squeaked out. Why am I so nervous right now? I don't know but I don't like it. "Can you come out?" I sighed and stood up as I unlocked the door and walked out of the bathroom and was met with Mark staring at me. "You okay?" I nodded yet I refused to meet his eyes.
I don't know why I'm acting like this but I need to stop as soon as possible before I get questioned by someone that I don't necessarily want to get questioned by. "Alright then." He shrugged and walked away and towards his room where he was staying with his roommate. I guess they had spare rooms so some of the members got to have their own rooms, though it was probably the eldest members who did. And of course, Taeyong got his own room, he was the leader anyway.
The walk down the hallway towards the prison they call my room was long and boring as I didn't feel like walking fast enough to get there quicker. I check my phone and there is a new message, it's from Mark and we soon begin our own conversation.
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I do like Mark, he isn't as mean and aggressive as Taeyong could be. Yet at times I just couldn't get enough of seeing him and talking to him. Taeyong was great company when he wanted to be and he was a lot. I got into my room and sat on the bed as I brought my knees to my chest. Then all of a sudden, I got another text message. It was Taeyong.
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