When We Crashed

Family Sticks Together

Ella's pov:

"Mom?" I whisper, taking small steps towards her sitting on a small bench against a wall to what looks like to be a small game room.

From the sound of my voice, she looks up from her head being in her hands, quickly wiping away tears as if she was trying to hide the fact that she was crying.

Even after what she said, I felt terrible seeing her in the state she was in.

I know, she tried to set me up with Luke's brothers and all, but it still affects me seeing her tear stained face.

Luke was right.

If I really hated her, I wouldn't have been affected seeing her so upset.

"Mind if I..." I point to the open space beside her as she slightly nods her head, while letting out a small sniffle.

I wanted to say so much to her, but now that I am here, I felt like I had nothing to say.

I didn't know if I should feel angry at her for trying to set me up with Luke's brothers.

Feel bad that she thought I would leave her because she wasn't enough.

Or feel sad that she's crying all alone in this game room that I really really want to have.

But I was also afraid that what I would say wouldn't be enough.

It's always the same repeated cycle of getting hurt time after time again.

I can't keep living like this.

I can't keep trying to reach her expectations, when if doing so wouldn't be the real me.

"I'm sorry for being such a terrible mother." Her voice surprised me, quickly pulling me out of my thoughts.

I shake my head, "You're not a terrible mother, you just... eh.. faced many hardships along the way..."

Usually I make fun of myself for something stupid I have said.... but I have nothing, absolutely nothing.

I really need to upgrade my communicating skills because even I am tired of judging me.

"You don't have to make me feel better, it is my fault. I understand if you want to leave, I won't stop you-..."

"Is that what you really think? That I am going to leave?" I couldn't help but ask.

I wish she would just understand how much I want to be a family again. To know that I have their support in my life, or that they have my back, even when I tend to embarrass myself a lot more than the average person.

If I didn't believe that things could change, I wouldn't have came back.

I am giving us a chance... why can't she?

"Ever since you came back home, all I could think about was you leaving again. And the worse part, knowing that we did it, no, I did it. Your father blames himself, the family time we never had. When you left, he took it hard. But... it wasn't him, it was me. I pushed you away, not him.

I wish I could take everything back. Your childhood, convincing your father to take the business in the first place. I just... I wanted to be perfect. I wanted you guys to have the perfect life, the perfect house, the perfect future-..."

"But I never wanted that. All I ever wanted was a family who I could have depended on. And over time, I gave up. I left because I wanted to run away from my problems, I never once confronted you about it. I never sat you down and told you how I felt. I was too afraid to. If I would have, maybe things would have been different-..."

"No, don't say that. You shouldn't feel bad for being afraid, I did that. I made you afraid to talk to me. As a mother, I should have been the number one person that you can trust to talk to.

Instead, I was the exact opposite. I was a horrible mother. I tried to change you because I thought I was helping you. And again, I just did it. Every time I try to do what's best for you, I just end up hurting you more, over and over again." She says, looking down at the ground in shame.

I scoot closer to her on the bench, grabbing her hand, "I just want it to be like when I was a little kid. When us four were always together. I never said or tried to do anything about it because I didn't want to seem disappointing to you-..."

She quickly looks up, squeezing my hand, "Ella, you have never been a disappointment to me. You are a strong, independent young woman and I could have never been so proud."

"Really?" I ask, as she nods her head.

"I love you so much Ella. As a mother, I should have told you that every single day. Even after the mall, I didn't do it because I didn't know how to. Saying I love you, I wasn't used to it. I was afraid that if I said it, it wouldn't be meaningful to you because of how much I disappointed you. But I want to be a better mom, I want to make up for all the years that I have messed up."

I start to feel tears gather in my eyes, "Can we be a family again? Not living our lives depending on money, or the business. Spend time with each other and go out as a family? Maybe even go and get ice cream, or just hangout at the park. I might not fit down the slide but I do not care, I will push my way through if I have to."

While staring to cry, but laughing a little at my choice of words, she nods her head, "I would really like that. I just want you to never be afraid to talk to me, ever."

I smile, while nodding again, "I promise."

"And I also want to know every single detail about you and Luke. Every. Single. Detail." She grins, while I let out a nervous chuckle.

"Okay, where do I even begin... remember When We Crashed?"

Hey guys!!!!

Hope you enjoyed this chapter!!!

Epilogue will follow shortly.

THANK YOU for your love and support!!!

~juls