1:
Monika: *Motionless*
Natsuki: Yo, is she sleeping or did she get deleted?
Yuri: Hopefully deleted I hated that girl..
Natsuki: Yeah, so did I.
Monika: *From the computer's trash can* First of all, fuck you guys-
2:
Sayori: *Reading Yuri's poem*
Sayori: Mm-hmm. Mmmmm-hmm. Oh! Ooh! Mm-hmm.
Yuri: ...
Sayori: I know some of these words!
3:
*Playing Scrabble*
Sayori: I will put my "A" down to make "A".
MC: I will add to your "A" to make "AT."
Natsuki: I will add onto your "AT" to make "RAT."
Yuri: I will add onto your "RAT" to make "BIOSTRATIGRAPHIC."
Monika: *Flips the board*
4:
Monika, internally: Sayori stopped talking, she wants you to respond. Say something, stupid!
Monika: I wasn't thinking about killing you.
Sayori: Awe, thank you.
Monika, internally: Nailed it.
5:
MC: Different kinds of laughs.
MC: The giggle.
Sayori: Ehehehe~
MC: The fake laugh.
Monika: Ha. ha. ha. ha.
MC: The normal laugh.
Natsuki: *Laughs*
MC: And, the crazy laugh.
Yuri: HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
Natsuki: Send help for Yuri-
6:
Sayori: Ahhh! Such a beautiful day!
Sayori: The sun's shining in a beautiful way!
Sayori: Gonna take a shower, brush my teeth and-
Monika: Life is ultimately meaningless.
Sayori: UhH... Sayori: But I'll get out of the house..!
Sayori: Get on the road, top down, hands out!
Sayori: Put on my favorite song and nod to the rhythm!
Monika: The planet's being destroyed by your carbon emissions.
Sayori: But I- I-, I'll head to class!
Sayori: Try my best on every test 'til I pass!
Sayori: And my grades are screaming in my face: Ayyyy!
Monika: 98% percent of what you learn is a waste.
Sayori: I get to hang out with all my friends!
Sayori: My friends are the friendliest friends!
Sayori: Can't think of a better way to spend my time-
Monika: Your brain is flawed and all your friends will die-
7:
Monika, to the tune of "Santa Claus is coming to town": you better watch out! You better watch out!
Monika and Sayori singing at the same time, the tone becoming increasingly panicked: You bETTER WATCH OUT! YOU BETTER WATCH OUT! YOU BETTER WATCH-
8:
Sayori: Hewoo! I will be youw suwgeon today! Intewnal bweeding you say? Let's make ouw fiwst wittle incision.
Natsuki: Dowcto, weew're loswing hew!!!
Sayori: Quick! Hand me the defibwiwatow!!
Monika: Please, turn off my fucking life support.
9:
Sayori: Do you ever just see something that changes your life and you're just like huh-
Monika: I saw you~
Sayori: Honestly, that reply was so cute and sweet and it really makes this awkward because I was going to show you a photo of Ryan Reynolds as a turkey..
10:
Yuri: Anyone under 5"7 can't be talking about fighting anyone. Like, what are you gonna do, headbutt someone in the nipples?
Natsuki: Say goodbye to your kneecaps, asshole.
Bonus:
Natsuki: If you put 'violently' in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier
Monika: Violently studies.
Sayori: Violently microwaves lunch.
Yuri: Violently murders people.
Natsuki: -
Natsuki: Violently worries about that previous statement-