1:
Yuri: You stay positive, you always believe that everything is going to work out. How do you do it?
Sayori: Well, I'll tell you my secret!
Also Sayori: I lie to myself. Every morning, when I wake up, I say "Everything's going to be okay", but I'm lying. And I don't know how much longer I can do it... Have a swell night!
2:
Monika: AlRight, LisTEn Up YA LiTTlE shITs-
Monika: Ahh, not you MC, you're and angel and we're glad you're here~
3:
Natsuki: Don't worry, I have a permit.
Yuri: This says "I can do whatever I want."
Natsuki: Exactly
4:
MC: There are seven chairs and ten kids, what do you do?
Sayori: Have everyone stand!
Yuri: Bring three more chairs...
Natsuki: The best seven of the lot get to sit down!
Monika: Kill three.
5:
Natsuki: *Watching Adventure Time on a 70 inch plasma screen TV then all of a sudden, Monika bursts through the wall*
Natsuki: That was a 70 inch plasma screen TV.
Natsuki: *Inhales deeply*
Nastuki: So how can I help you?
Monika: So you're the 2nd best girl, Natsuki, mistress of cute, cupcakes, and overconfidence. The creature that casts a shadow on darkness itself.
Natsuki: Oh baby, work the shaft.
Monika: I... What?
Natsuki: Oh, I'm sorry. I do tend to get all the dirty talk when someone is sucking my dick!
Monika: Look, I'm being serious here...
Natsuki: And so am I, and I'm failing. I'm sorry about that. It's just I get agitated. Some little bitch strolled into my room, destroying my 70 inch plasma screen TV and is trying to delete me like I'm her alcoholic mother! Be a sport and give mommy another drink, will you?
6:
Sayori: I turned out perfectly fine!
MC: This morning you thought a ghost made your toast.
Sayori: I DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN!
7:
Natsuki: Monika, can we talk? One ten to another?
Monika: I'm an eleven, but continue.
8:
Natsuki: It's a white flag, and you might as well start waving it!
Yuri: The only thing I'll be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother!
Sayori: *Gasp*
Monika: Good lord...
9:
Natsuki: Nobody told you to bring all those knives.
Yuri: And nobody told you to bring that nasty attitude, but here I am, stuck with both.
10:
Monika: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just want to know.
MC: I did. I broke it...
Monika: No. No you didn't. Natsuki?
Natsuki: Don't look at me. Look at Yuri.
Yuri: What?! I didn't break it!
Natsuki: Huh, that's weird. How did you know it was broken?
Yuri: Because it's right in front of us and it's broken!
Natsuki: Suspicious..
Yuri: No, it's not!
MC: Alright, let's not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, President.
Monika: No- Who broke it?
Yuri: *Whispering* President Monika, Sayori's been awfully quiet...
Sayori: Really?!?
Yuri: Yeah, really!
Monika: *Slowly walks out of the room as everyone yells at each other*
Monika: I broke it. I burnt my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here~
Bonus:
Natsuki: DO IT, YOU SORRY SACK OF SHIT!
Natsuki: Sorry, that didn't come out as encouraging as I meant it to...
