1:
Monika: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.
Sayori: What if I bite it and it dies?
MC: That means you're poisonous.
Natsuki: What if it bites itself and I die?
Monika: That's voodoo.
Sayori: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Yuri: That's correlation, not causation.
MC: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?
Natsuki: That's kinky.
2:
Sayori: So basically um... what I was thinking of was um-
Monika: *Deletes Sayori.chr.*
Sayori: Aw fuck. I can't believe you've done this.
3:
Yuri: Hey, where do you guys keep your sharp knives?
4:
Natsuki: Everyone talks about how great Mary Shelley was. Mary Shelley wasn't so great.
Yuri: What do you mean Mary Shelly wasn't so great???
Natsuki: She never got her picture on bubblegum cards, did she? Have you ever seen her picture on a bubblegum card? Hmm? How can you say someone is great who's never had her picture on bubblegum cards?
Yuri: Good grief.
5:
Yuri: Ow! Why does this hurt?
Monika: It's supposed to hurt, that's how you know it meant something.
Natsuki: It hurts cause you stabbed yourself-
6:
Yuri: If you think about it, the process of singing the birthday song and cutting the cake is extremely satanic.
Natsuki: -
Monika: -
Yuri: No but seriously, imagine it this way: A small gathering of people huddle around an object on fire, chanting ritualistically a repetitive song in unison until the fire is blown out and a knife is stabbed into the object.
Natsuki, sarcastically: You must be fun at parties.
Monika: Sounds like a party to me.
7:
Sayori: I slept for 12 hours but I might still be tired so let's go for 12 more just in case.
MC: Sayori, that's a coma-
Sayori: Sounds festive!
8:
Sayori at a confession booth: I have really bad depression. I try to put on a happy face when I'm with friends, but...it's really hard sometimes.
Yuri at a confession booth: I...I cut myself. It's a terrible habit, I know, but...it's so hard to stop once I get started...
Natsuki at a confession booth: My dad hates me. I don't know why, but he does.
Monika at a confession booth: I discovered we're in a video game and our lives have no meaning outside of entertainment.
Um... I mean...
I struggle with issues of jealousy.
9:
Natsuki: Hey, Yuri. Do you like bad girls?
Yuri: -
Yuri: Um,, Maybe..?
Natsuki: Well, I'm not trying to impress you or anything, but when Disney Channel asked me to go to their website with my parents permission, I didn't ask my dad!
10:
Natsuki: I know what genealogy is. It's when you rub a lamp and get three wishes.
Yuri: I've met bread smarter than you.
Bonus:
Yuri: The human life is a strained and tense one. I envy the life of a smooth rock resting on the beach... warmed by the sun... unaware of the trials and tribulations of sentient life...
Monika: Do you need to talk?
Yuri: I wish I was a croissant,,
