(editing) friends | dino | lee chan

Chapter Sixteen

Chan

I threw the first pebble over the balcony.

Tack!

I waited a few seconds.

Nothing.

I haul the second one over.

Tack!

Nothing.

The last one I threw desperately, praying, hoping, the sleeping beauty would wake up from her slumber.

Tack!

"Ouch!"

My eyes widen. Did I hit her? As if it helped, I go on my tippy toes, eagerly waiting for her to finally show me her face after six months.

Disappointment took over me once again.

"Who are you and why are you throwing stones?!" A girl with fiery red hair shouts down at me angrily.

I start walking away. The pain in my chest could not compare to the last time I was in this same position.

"Hey! Get back here!"

I stop, sighed and turned. I look up at the girl. "Can I come up?"

She was taken aback. "What?"

With no hesitation I start climbing the overgrown vines. 

People would probably mistake me for a hopeless romantic. The cliche main character in a romcom where the guy finds 'the one.' The one that goes through a crazy adventure then eventually live happily ever after.

In my opinion, there is no 'the one.' Literally anyone can be 'the one.' People fall into and out of love all the time. The person they were in love with was 'the one' at the time, but because things didn't work out, people change their minds and think... maybe not. Then they go and find someone else.

Song Nari was my first one. She was strong and fierce. She didn't believe in luck. 'You have to work hard for what you want,' was her moto and she's right. She was my biggest supporter when it came to dancing. She pushed me to my limits. I even used to get frustrated with her, but I know now that her efforts didn't go to waste.

This makes me feel guilty in ways I can't explain. I wanted to impress the girl I liked so much that I didn't consider what she wanted. I don't think I supported her the way she supported me. I even left her for goodness sake! I made her the motivation for chasing my dreams. But when my dreams became a reality, the reality I wanted for her and I became a dream.

Kang Aera was my second. She wasn't shy, she was just quite. Not on purpose, that's just who she was. She kept to herself unless you made effort to talk to her. Because she and I were so opposite I learned so much from her. Her perspective on the world was so different from mine at times I thought maybe I thought about the world wrong.

"No matter how harsh an individual's opinion may be, we're all entitled to our own opinions as long as it doesn't discriminate anyone," she said once.

"Wouldn't a harsh opinion be discrimination?" I asked, a little confused.

 "An opinion is liking EXO's Love Me Right better than BTS's Dope. Discriminating is saying that male idols are better than female idols. Do you see what I mean? We don't choose what we like. It's the same as being straight or gay. You can't help it. It's the way you just... are."

I nodded. "I do. But what's a harsh opinion that you have?"

She thought about it for a moment then finally gave me an answer that cut me too deep. "That no one owes you anything."

I didn't say anything and let her continue.

"People can leave you if they want to. They don't owe you an explanation. People don't owe you loyalty. It's their choice to be your friend or not just as much as it is yours. Just because you do kind deeds, doesn't mean people owe you kindness. You can be the nicest person on earth and still be treated like trash. Living on earth is not like a job where you do it and get rewarded. You just do it. It is surviving."

As I neared the top of the balcony I replayed Aera's words in my head. "People don't owe you anything," I whispered to myself. I pushed past the hurt I was feeling and made myself think positively. When I finally made it to the top, I jumped swiftly onto the balcony.

"If you're here to do some Prince Charming shit on me it won't work." The girl's hair was a lot brighter up close. "I'm lesbian."

I shrug. "That's cool." I offer her my hand, "I'm Lee Chan."

She doesn't take it.

"You actually look like a princess yourself. Is your name Ariel?" I joked.

She didn't even crack one small smile. "Why are you here exactly?"

I sighed. Maybe I wasn't going to make a new friend this time around. "Do you like stories?" I casually walk over to the too familiar old couch. I lay on it comfortably with my hands behind my head.

"Are you going to tell me a fairytale or something?" She comes over too and leans against the door frame of the sliding door.

"I guess so," I close my eyes. "It doesn't have a happy ending though."

"I'm going to guess that the story is about you."

I nod.

"Then it's not over. You're not dead yet."

"Oh... I guess you're right." This is just the start of another chapter of my life.

-Completed-