What If?

Tinder no. Tinder yes.

I was in a 2 year relationship, it was fun at first but then it went down a very dark spiral with fighting and lies. After I broke up with the dude, I met this guy, we flirted back and forth, hung out a few times for about a month but all fun and games were over when I had asked him if he wanted to be in a relationship. Now I know...it may have been a little too soon to ask but in my defense, It was about to be a little over a month of us talking and that is a long time for me. So when I had asked him if he was looking for a relationship....he just looked at me like a deer on headlights. "Well you're going into the military right?" He asks me. 

 I responded with "Well yea, but that shouldn't change anything...right?". When I had thought the correct words would come out of his mouth...they were actually words that made me a little disappointed.

"Well I mean.....I don't think it would be really....you know....worth it  because you won't be in Florida anymore".... anddd that was the last thing that 20 year old, (still stuck on the fact that he will become a professional basketball player, even though he isn't in college because he's injured) guy, ever said to me before I shut his car door shut and stormed off to my front door patio. I should've known...I just should've. 

-

It's been about 3 and half weeks since him and it's been pretty relaxing but dawning because I have no one to talk too. Being single has really given me a fresh pair of eyes! Realizing that I know what I like and I know what I would want if I did decide to get back into the dating game. There's this idea that has popped up in my head a few times but I've always tried to push it back, but for some reason I couldn't get it to go away.  I've always debated about this app called "Tinder". Even though I'm not 18, A lot of people my age have the app and 95% of them are now in the happiest of happiest relationships, because of this dating app. What sucks is that I'm going into the military soon and it scared off Caleb (boy toy dude)...What if it scares someone else off?. I think to myself, but I push that thought to the side and end up opening the App store on my phone.

Tinder. 18+
Match, Chat, and Meet New People!.

Well I'm not 18...
Should I?
Should I not?
Could I get arrested?
Could i get some someone arrested?
Fuck it.
Downloading... ...

It's downloaded. I open the app, make an account and type a pretty sweet bio and find some cute pictures of me, most of them are from 5 months back even, but I don't go out much so, what can your girl do?. I set up my profile and began looking up my choices, I set the mileage of people to just the city next to me, Jacksonville and put it on Guys only. I started swiping....and swiping, swiped right here and swiped left there. This isn't fun....I think in my head ...Who gets lucky off of this?.

Two weeks and almost a tinder date happened but yet unsuccessful because I'm an awkward piece of shit later....

You got a new match! 

Jacob. 21. 

Works at U.S MARINE CORPS. 

Goes to PAU Univ. 

20 miles away. 

How in the hell did I match with him?. Well honestly, it didn't matter at this point because even though I didn't pay much attention at first to this dude who not only had a really long, ass tinder bio but had a catfish like profile picture. He caught my eye and made conversation with me like no other. See, the funny thing is...is that I wasn't big on dating apps, When i had Tinder not only was I underage but it just didn't catch my eye, yeah, people and I matched but they were all the same, had the same conversation starter technique and they were either college or military guys looking for the same EXACT thing. The feeling of being wanted, some wanted a relationship but 99.9% were just looking for something sexual and that just wasn't me, It was boring, kind of draining and tiring to be honest. I got bored of talking to people because there was nothing special about them, yeah, everyone has a different story to tell, which was interesting on my end. I got to hear and listen to how some people were brought up and their views on some things, but at the end....I didn't really gain much. Just some people's snap-chats but with him, it was different. He wanted to know about me, what I like to do, what gets on my nerves and what I get excited about, how I like my favorite nachos and my dessert, my favorite movie and musicians, what I wanted to do with my life and that right there, made me believe that he was different and this my friends....is where it starts getting interesting.