What If?

"Before you say anything"

I set up a plan that was going to get me to Pennsylvania. The only little piece of conflict that I had with all of this is my mother AND that's still something I'm working on. I have to think of every possible thing she would and could throw at me, of course it would be my age she would bring up first. "Josephine you're only 17" or she'll use "Josephine you've only been dating this guy for barely a month" which I know is true and yes, it does sound stupid and a even crazy for me setting up something like this but I love him. So I wrote and planned out EVERYTHING, I looked at the flights and kept track of how much the prices were everyday, I picked up extra shifts and I even wrote out a plan just in case we would have to drive. Obviously the goal is to try and convince my mother to let me go by myself but realistically speaking that isn't going to work...so all of my planning involved her in it. 

I decided to set up a lunch date with my mom so I can tell her about this trip and all I can think about is her saying no. When I arrived at Chilli's, I texted her and entered the front door. 

"How many?" The hostess asks 

"My mom is actually here..I was just wondering if maybe I can take a look around?" I ask the blonde. She nods her head and smiles and goes back to her computer. I scan around the area until I see her waving for me, "Hey!" I approach her and sit down on the other side of the booth. 

"I ordered the drinks already...and the chips and salsa" My mom says

"Ah yummy" I say as I see her pull out her phone and start texting someone. "So guess what Charlie decided to do this morning before she went to school?" My moms asks me 

"What?" I ask 

"She decided that she was going to use my makeup and no it wasn't on her face, she decided to use my eyeliner and eye makeup on her arms, so now I am low on eye makeup and when I mean low..I mean I have nothing but foundation and a few other things that I don't really use" My mother blabs on about. As we order our food, she continues to go on about her job and my siblings and I talk about Jacob and work. Finally trying to build the courage to bring up Pennsylvania for about 20 minutes, I come to terms with it. "Mom...I would like to discuss something with you" I tell her and her eyes dart up to mine 

"Um..okay?" She says 

"Before you say anything, I just want to let you know that I have everything already planned out and I have the money to do this because I've been working a lot of over time. I've been planning to visit Jacob up in Pennsylvania for at least a week...and I already know that you won't let me go alone so if you have any free time later this month, I'd really like to go". I tell my mother and she just stares at me before opening her mouth to say something and my heart sinks into my stomach while she's speaking. 

"When do you plan on doing this?" She asks 

"In like 3 weeks, I may or may not have asked off already" I tell her 

"You know how I feel about last minute trips" She sighs and takes a bite out of her food

"Mom I know....but we can do this. I can afford this." I reassure her 

"If you have the money to do all of this, then yes...I'm in" She says and digs into her food some more and I don't think I've ever felt my heart leap into my chest.

"Oh my goodness! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" I tell her, happiness overwhelms me...especially when the waitress comes over to give me my nachos. I dig in happily than ever and I can't wait to tell Jacob. 

"Don't make me regret this" I hear my mom tell me. 

-

When I arrive home, Jacob calls me and as soon as I answer the face time..I set down the phone and start jumping up and down in excitement. "Can I ask why you're jumping up and down ecstatically like a little kid right now?" Jacob asks. 

"She said yes!!" I shout happily 

"Oh my God really?!" Jacob says, hearing the surprise in his voice. 

"Yes!!" I say as I see his face light up

"Wow....for a minute there I really didn't think your mom would let you come up here by yourself, I really did underestimate her" Jacob says and then the feeling of my heart sinking into my stomach happened again. I turn around and sit across my phone, looking at Jacob. 

"Um...well..you see..it's not just me going. It's my mom and I that are coming up there actually" I tell Jacob, I see his eyebrows knit together and his face fills up with confusion. 

"Babe I don't want to be mean or anything and please don't take this the wrong way but I don't have room for your mom and I don't think my room mate is going to like that" Jacob tells me and now I feel like I'm back at square 1. 

"Well that was the only way she would let me come up there and see you, she's not going to let me go because I'm 17" I tell him 

"Well that kinda upsets me. You're 17, a few months away from turning that 7 to an 8 and you're more responsible and mature than the average 18 year old anyways, I don't see why it's that big of a deal" Jacob states as he shakes his head. "All I'm saying is that it would be better if you just came up yourself, that way we could spend more time together, be with each other more and have a good time because I'm telling you right now....Your mom is going to hate it here. It's snowing, It's a small town where there is nothing to do. Washington D.C? You two can try there but all of the museums that are actually interesting are all shut down because of the government....It just won't be fun for her at all." Jacob tells me and I take a second to try and take it all in. He is right, she won't have any fun and me and Jacob would barely see each other because he has classes during the week. 

"I'll figure it out" I tell him. 

-

The messages between my mom and I were exhausting. It was like one minute, we're going, next minute, we aren't. I ended up messaging my mom in hopes that maybe she will just let me go on my own by telling her on what will happen if she went and it didn't really make any improvement. It turned into her coming... to her, my little brother and I...which was fine until I was about to book the rental car because my mom and I agreed that it would be cheaper that way instead of flying. A few days later after I had booked the perfect rental car, my mom messaged me this long message basically saying that my 12 year old sister, Charlie..was truly upset that we weren't planning on taking her with us to Pennsylvania and that we should take her along with my mother's boyfriend because my mom doesn't want to be the only adult, so me planning a week vacation to see my boyfriend now turned into a family getaway disaster just waiting to happen in the mix. 

 The car that i had previously booked, I canceled because now we need a bigger size vehicle, trying to convince my mother that this trip is really about me visiting Jacob which we BOTH did agree on. She ended up making it about her and the kids, saying that it's not fair and if I really wanted to pull that stunt, I can go when I'm 18. This was turning into a DISASTER and I honestly didn't know what to do at this point, as much as I wanted to call quits. I kept trying to find solutions and I kept planning....even if I knew it was going to end up falling apart in the end.