reality ➳ sm (discontinued)

twelve

what the fuck. they're friends? friendly?

"ryland!" i shout, interrupting their conversation. i caught a few glances. ryland whipped his head around. "photos" i said with a small smile. he said something before walking towards me and leaving shawn by himself.

as he came to my side wrapping his right arm around my back, "what were you guys talking about?" i ask. we smiled for the photos. i looked at him and he looked back at me. candid.

"just a friendly conversation, you got nothing to worry about" he says pecking my lips.

"you knew he was coming?" i question looking back at the camera. he probably did. he knew a lot of things i never knew he knew. that sounded weirdly funny in my head, i let out a giggle.

he looked at me, "yeah. alyssa told me. you good? what u laughing at huh?" he asks jokingly. i smile at his tone.

"nothing. i'm good. we're done, you can go now" i tell him. he smiles.

an hour passes by and it was the time for the gender reveal. i stood alone in front of the pink and blue balloon backdrop. everyone was standing around the pool ready with their phones out to record. i had my professional videographer and photographer record and take photos with me.

"lyss! facetime james" i tell her who was holding my phone as well as her phone. she nodded. i smiled at my phone knowing he was smiling at me too.

"okay, before we do this. i want to thank my best friends, you know who you are for supporting me through this journey and for planning out this gender reveal. couldn't have done it without you girls. i wanna ryland for the huge support through everything. i love you. and also everyone for coming and celebrating with me. this is a very special day to me" i smile. everyone said different things in unison as well as cheering and whistling.

"how do you do this?" i exclaim holding the smoke bomb in my hand. everyone let out a laugh. kylie amusingly ran to me with a lighter.

"hold on. light it and it should work within a few seconds" she said. i held it in my hand as we turned our backs so it could light without the wind blowing it out. "got it" she exclaimed. she ran back quickly standing next to chantel and catherine.

everyone was smiling anticipating for the coloured smoke to fly out, including shawn too. I looked down at my belly and rubbed him or her. the grey smoke started to drift in the sky and it slowly turned...blue. blue.

blue for boy. oh my fucking god. i cupped my mouth in shock. i want to cry. everyone cheered and clapped. i set it down on the ground with still so much blue smoke coming out of the bomb. i'm having a baby boy. alyssa came to hug me.

"oh my god soph. i can't believe it! a he, sophia. you're having a boy" she says. i feel overwhelmed and happy and amazed and sad. sad that i was experiencing this alone. on bad terms with his father. this wasn't how i imagined my first gender reveal to be like but nonetheless, i'm happy.

alyssa handed me my phone which has james on my screen. "soph! you're having a son! i'm so proud of you!" he said. i smile. i fan my face to stop my tears from coming out.

"i'm so happy. i can't believe this is real james!" i say exasperated. he grins widely. "i wish you were here"

"don't cry. i'll be here soon. i love you. i'll call you soon" he says. i nod as he hangs up.

i hugged and thanked everyone who congratulated me. they were even congratulating shawn too. i smile and pat my under eyes with my index finger.

"congratulations baby" ryland hugged me. i smiled and pecked him on the lips. "so happy for you"