reality ➳ sm (discontinued)

five

sophia

tonight, the girls and i are going for dinner at a fancy restaurant for alyssa's birthday which is a week away but as usual, we all celebrate our birthday for a month straight. i have yet to get ready, ryland is still lying in bed, eyes closed and light snoring. "where are you going?" ryland speaks in a groggily tone. I turn my head back to look at him as i was grabbing an underwear and bra from my dresser.

"dinner. for alyssa, remember?" i question. ryland can pay attention when he wants to and when i told him a few days ago about this birthday lunch, i guess he was focused on something else. i shut the dresser and walk towards him. "wake up, babe"

he lifts his head up a bit to look at the time on the digital clock. 5:42pm. "sorry, i'm just tired" he says. concern washes over me. "don't worry, i guess the caffeine hasn't helped"

"are you okay? do you need me to stay home with you?" i ask, stroking his cheek with my thumb. he softly smiles. he grabs my hand from his face and kisses the back of my hand.

"no, i'm fine. i gotta head to neels anyways. thank you"

i nod, "okay" his brown eyes staring right into mine but he shuts them after a moment. "are you sure you're okay?"

"i'm just tired babe, stop worrying. go get ready. i'll be here" he chuckles lightly. i smile and stand up heading to the bathroom to start my 'getting ready' routine. after a quick body wash and skincare, i apply some light makeup before getting into my outfit. i walk out of my bathroom with my towel wrapped tightly around me.

"babe, what should i wear?" i ask ryland who is still in bed but on his phone this time. he looks at me. "it's really hot out"

"um, wear your nirvana t-shirt. the oversized one and just pair with a skirt or something. i don't know. ask lyss" he says. i purse my lips and sigh. i'm kind of in my towel right now. i've been wearing oversized t-shirts for so long, i'm sick of it.

"ry, i'm going to lose my mind if i wear oversized t-shirts one more time. I wanna wear something different" i tell him.

"babe, people are gonna notice. wasn't the point of hiding from the world is so they won't know that you're pregnant?"

"i'm not a kardashian. they don't care about me" i roll my eyes.

"but you're shawn's ex girlfriend who is pregnant with his baby. he will care and so will your fans" he says. i sigh. my fans. i miss interacting with them and if i could, i would tell them what's going on behind closed doors but it's too risky. they've been worrying about me for ages and it breaks my heart that i have to leave them out. i wouldn't be surprised if some didn't continue to support me anymore.

"ryland, paparazzi aren't going to follow us everywhere. how would they know where we are?" i ask him. he sits up on the bed dropping his phone on the bed. oh fook no, we aren't in a petty ass bicker right now.

"they're paparazzi. they know everything" he says. he does have a point there. "look" he starts. he gets off the bed and walks towards me with both hands on my arms. "i know it's hard but don't forget why you made this decision in the first place" i stay silent as he kisses my forehead.

he walks into our closet and looks around in my shirt section. "why don't you wear this dress? it's flowy and i bet you'll look sexy in it" he winks at me making me chuckle. It was a red casual dress from princess polly. he walks back to me and places it in my hand.

"thank you. now go brush your teeth. your breath reeks" i say. he laughs with me, walking into my bathroom.

-

alyssa and i arrive at nobu in los angeles and i'm so damn excited to demolish the whole menu. "table for two?" a lady asks standing behind the podium with the menus stacked on it.

"um, a reservation under madison" she tells the lady. madison actually organised the whole thing and the girls and i except for alyssa organised her birthday party this saturday. she nods and leads us to the table that held for ten people.

madison, chantel, cindy, jocelyn were already there. "hello girls" i greet smiling. alyssa waves and hugs all of them, as do i.

"your outfit soph" madison gapes. "i love it but you're not...afraid they would notice?" she asks. i look down at my noticeable belly. i'm surprised it still fits me.

"i am but...i'm tired of wearing t-shirts or hoodies. i wanted to dress cute for once in a while in public. especially on a night like this" i shrug. they smile.

"well, you look so adorable but so mature. i'm obsessed" jocelyn says. i smile and sit down. shortly after, kylie and stassie arrived and we began to eat. ryland's mom says seafood should be avoided so i just ordered salad and dessert. the girls wanted to eat at nobu but they worried about me but i said i'm fine. nothing deep.

i ended up ordering another salad because a girls gotta eat, especially for two. after everyone was almost done eating, a waitress brought in a birthday cake for alyssa who is sitting next to me on my right as everyone in the restaurant started to sing happy birthday. i record the whole scene on my snapchat and save it to memories and then decide to upload it on snapchat.

she blows the candles and everyone including me claps for her. we then all take photos. lots and lots of photos. "hey, i'm gonna go to the bathroom" i tell the girls.

"okay, i'll come with" madison stands up. i nod and lead her to the ladies restroom. i need to pee real bad. after my business, i wash my hands and wait for madison. meanwhile, i check my makeup is still in place and re apply my lipstick. i see madison walking to the taps in the mirror.

"so have you um...been speaking to jack?" she hesitantly asks me. i give her a questioning look. It's been months since the break up. I'm sure it was before the whole turn of events.

"why are you asking about him?" i ask. "you're not like...getting back together are you?" i ask with my eyebrows raised.

"what? oh no, we're not. definitely not. i'm just asking because... don't worry" she says, shaking her head at herself. i'm so confused.

"do you need me to remind you why you two aren't together in the first place? why are you thinking about your ex when you're in a happy fling with zack?" i ask, i turn my body to fully face her.

"fuck, no you don't. i was just curious" she says, obviously lying to my face.

"stop lying to me, i'm not stupid. you're the one who brought it up and now you don't wanna speak up. and yes i have. we're still friends remember?" i tell her. she doesn't say anything else and continues to fix her makeup. i don't even know what's happening right now. "i'm here if you need to talk"

i walk out of the bathroom and back to the table. i probably seemed like a bitch back there but she needed to hear it and she knows that's how i am. 

i sit down in my seat. "where's mads?" alyssa asks me. i look back to where the bathroom is.

"she's probably still in the bathroom" i answer. she nods. we eat our dessert, madison has come back five minutes later and sits down picking up her fork, talking to cindy.

"holy shit" i hear alyssa cuss. i look at her with some type of look on my face.

"what?" stas asks. alyssa's eyes were wide and her lips were in the form of an 'o'. everyone on the table is now looking at alyssa.

"soph, don't panic but shawn and hailey just walked in"

i panicked.

-

hello, i'm back. here's a chapter after a while. enjoy xx

also, i stan a 2x grammy nominated artist named Shawn Mendes