This is me

Entry Ten

No matter how many tears I cry tonight......
I'll show up to school with a smile on my face
Nobody will care.......
And nobody will know my pain.....
They judge me and make fun of me
They say the haters gonna hate
True but for how long
How long will I have to suffer
I know it's life but
I'm human just like them but they tear me down
Like a toy
Once they break me
They'll go for someone as defenseless like me
I have friends that are by my side
I know this
But......
I feel as if I'm a burden they have their problems
I don't need to bother them with mine
Some say "oh it's fine I'm here for you"
I always question that
If I was really upset and wanted to take my life
Would you drop everything and come to me
Would you come and assure me that I'm wanted
I don't think you would
I know it's my anxiety giving me these thoughts
But I do question
Would you be there for me
Would be the true friend that I've waited for
Will you be the one to never forget me......
Most likely not
People would say I'm an easy person to forget
Cuz of how crazy I am
So don't ask if I'm fine cuz the answer is no
But I won't say that
I won't tell you that I cried tonight
Cuz really it's not your problem
It's mine