This is me

Entry Eleven

I have friends
But I feel like I don't
I'm in so many groups
But in each one
I feel like the less important one
I'm the mother of a lot of my friends
But I'm also a disowned daughter to another part
They are happy and content with their lives
They don't suspect a thing
They don't know that I hid my pain
They don't have to know
I'm a lost cause
I'm nothing
Useless
Unworthy
Fragile some would say
But do I let these things define me
Yes I do
Because I am
I'm a mistake
But I'm glad
I'm a failure
But I go up
I'm depressed
But I try to be happy
I'm not worthy
But people accept me
I don't know why I'm like this
But I don't think there's help for me
I think the only help there is for me
Is the care I get from myself
Even tho I starve myself
Or hurt myself
Or bring myself down
I grow stronger
It's stupid
I know
But it helps me feel better
Knowing that I have myself to count on
Cuz the only person that will be there for me til the end
Is me
I know it's selfish to think that
But it seems true
I don't know why
But it helps me sleep at night
Knowing that reality sucks
And sleep is my only escape