This is me

Entry Twenty Five

I'm falling

And you can't reach me

I'm tripping

And you can't catch me

I'm failing

And you can't help me

I'm dying

And you can't save me

I wake up
Each gosh damn morning
To new scars each day
I see blood pouring from my arms
My hands
My legs
My face
My heart.....

I'm crying

And you can't comfort me

I'm killing myself

And you can't stop me

I'm sorry for bothering you

With my problems

I'm sorry I have to fight my own demons

We all do

I'm sorry for not reaching out to you

I was scared

I'm sorry for screwing everything up

Everyone makes mistakes

I'm sorry I say I'm fine

Nobody wants to hear it

I'm sorry I'm not good enough

No one is perfect

I'm sorry for living

Please don't go

I wake up
To new scars
No one notices
I hide them

I see myself running the same race
Seeing if I can win just once
Knowing my legs will give up on me
The only thing that keeps me
Running
Is
You

I know it sounds crazy
But it's true
You keep me
From killing myself
From hurting myself
From starving myself
From hating myself

You keep me
happy
Motivated
Safe
Feeling cared for
You keep me going

I used to wake up
To new scars
Now they have disappeared
They have been erased from my past

I used to wake up
Hating myself
Hating that I was fat
Hating that i was stupid
Hating that I was living

Now I wake up
To a new smile
On my face
Being grateful I'm alive

I wake up
Loving my body
Knowing that I could be skinnier
But I look fine just the way I am

I wake up
Loving myself
And excited to go to school

Seeing that one person that keeps me going
Seeing that person happy
That they helped me
Even tho they don't know it
Even tho they know my problems
But didn't know they helped me

I wake up
To nightmares
To dreams
To hopes
To mistakes
But
Not to hate
To hurt
To starve
To die.......