The Grant~An IT Crowd Fanfiction

Standard Stunning Revelations

The day that all happened was a Friday, and everyone returned from the weekend beaten-down but somewhat refreshed. Roy had decided to take Monday off since he was still feeling a bit sick, but Imogene made sure to arrive early. She was eating cereal on the couch, watching television, when Jen came in.

"Hello, Im," Jen said gaily as she hung her coat up on the rack. "Anything good on?"

"Nah," Imogene replied, loudly slurping up some milk. "Just this show about pink mouse people in space. And before that there was this other cartoon with a penguin that said 'noot noot' all the time, which kind of made me feel like I was losing my mind, but the penguins were cute so I didn't really care."

Jen crossed the room to Roy's desk and began organizing a stack of papers. "Everyone seems to be losing their minds these days. That's all anyone ever says anymore. 'I think I'm losing my mind.' If I hear that phrase again, I might just lose my mind and pull the plug."

"Don't kill yourself, Jen."

"That's very encouraging. But I meant pull the plug there."

She pointed to the power strip near the wall, which was a mess of tangled wires.

"I'd have to be real crazy to undo that, now wouldn't I? Roy and Moss would bloody murder me if I ever even touched that thing."

"From what Moss and Roy have told me about your knowledge of 'computer things', I doubt you'd even know where to start. I'm not concerned."

Jen opened her mouth to protest, then closed her mouth and said, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Imogene wiped away a long line of milk that had dribbled out of her mouth. "I can just picture you struggling with it as we speak. You know, that might make a good fanfiction—Reynholm Industries RPF." Her eyes widened. "Reynholm Industries RPF! Now THERE'S an idea! Jen gets all hyped up on a hyper-intelligence rage serum and tries to destroy all the computers at Reynholm Industries, so Moss, Roy, and Imogene have to fight her using newfound ninja powers because the rage serum has a different effect in people who know about computers!"

Jen looked up from her papers. "You know, this was all going very well here for a moment, up until a point, and then it got sort of weird and unpleasant. Why don't you do me a favor and just...not talk for the rest of the day, yeah?"

Just then, Roy moped in with Moss right behind him.

"I told you, Moss!" Roy scolded. "There is no way you could have cheated at MarioKart. I lost fair and square!"

"I did cheat," Moss said quietly.

"NO!" Roy almost yelled. "No, you didn't! Only the least dignified gamers in the world cheat at MarioKart, and you're one of the most dignified gamers I know. No matter the stakes, you wouldn't even resort to the classic Konami code if your life depended on it!"

"I know the Konami code!" Imogene piped up. "Isn't it up-down-left-right-B-A—"

"Yes, that's the one," said Roy. "But Moss is too much of a wimp to even consider using it. Moss doesn't cheat!"

"I'm so lost," said Jen.

Moss sat down in his swivel chair, narrowing his eyes and folding his hands. "Just try me, Roy. One of these days, I swear...I will surprise you."

"Oh, please," said Roy. "It is against your very nature. Besides, the only decent cheat in MarioKart is the one where you fly across the track by finding the tree at the starting line and positioning your Kart at a thirty to forty degree angle—"