The Grant~An IT Crowd Fanfiction

Standard Schemes

Soon, the workday was over, but Roy's suspicions were not. He was determined to find out what this new work colleague of his was up to, and use whatever means necessary to uncover the truth.

He made sure to wait until after Jen had gone home, pretending to have a few extra things to do—although it was rather hard to convince her of this as he neverhad any extra things to do, and even if he did he wouldn't do them—in order to get some time with Imogene. She was also staying a bit late to finish something, though Roy had no idea what. He figured it was fanfiction. Sometimes she would churn out quick chapters during her lunch break, her fingers typing furiously at her keyboard and her eyeballs superglued to her screen. It was like she was a slave to the monitor. He could stare at her for hours.

Well, maybe not hours. One can only stare at a Marvel-obsessed zombie for so long before they begin to feel bad about themselves and the state of the human race.

Right when Moss was zipping up his jacket to go home, Roy pulled him aside and whispered the plan in his ear. "Moss, once you two are alone, you have to go ask Imogene what's going on."

Moss's eyes widened and he quickly darted towards the door, but Roy grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"No, Roy!" Moss whispered. "I won't do it! I won't! Why does it have to be me?"

"She likes you, Moss! You're the only one who can!"

Moss stopped for a second. "What do you mean, 'she likes me'?"

"Well, you're definitely her favorite out of all of us."

"Do you mean as a friend?"

Roy put on the biggest, falsest smile he could. "How will you know unless you go over and talk to her?"

Moss scrunched up his mouth. "I'm not helping you indulge in your suspicions, Roy. Especially if Imogene likes me the best."

She looked up from her desk. "Are you guys talking about me?"

"Oh, no!" Roy laughed. "We're talking about—"

"Cheese making!" Moss yelled.

"Yeah, that." Roy nudged Moss's shoulder, then went to grab his jacket. "I think I'm heading out. Moss, don't forget to finish that thing for tomorrow."

He frowned. "What thing?"

Roy rolled his eyes. "That thing that I just told you about! Literally three seconds ago!"

"Oh. You mean the birth control version of Donkey Kong where he whips condoms at Mario? Yeah, I can have that done in five minutes."

"NO! For God's sake, come here."

Roy went over to him and whispered it in his ear again. Moss cried, "Oh, no! Not that!"

"You know what? Just forget it."

"You two are so funny," Imogene giggled.

Roy gave him another look and then left. "Have a nice weekend, Moss."

"Thanks, Roy," he responded quietly.

Moss and Imogene were left alone to exchange awkward and nervous glances with each other.

"Are you really going to make a birth control version of Donkey Kong?" she asked.

"Yes," Moss said quietly.

"Would it really take you five minutes?"

"Maybe ten."

"That's...not very long. I mean, something like that would probably take me weeks." She paused, licking her dry, chapped lips. "What were you and Roy whispering about?"